It's a new day. A lot has happened since my last post, and much of which I'd prefer not to rehash or go over again. Let's just say that it would be practical to lean towards pessimism with all that has transpired.
But this is a new day! Several days/weeks ago, I decided that I will face each day with a renewed outlook. I will put my feet on the floor and thank the Lord, God Almighty for the new opportunity to share this day with him and with others. I must be positive! It is a matter of life that I approach each day with a renewed thinking towards what is possible and what CAN be done.
It is a new day. And yet, I take solitude in that my old profession is what God has wired me for. I thank Him for the innate ability and talent to do a good job in my trade. Sure there are many things I can not do. But I will not concentrate on what I can NOT do, but on what I CAN do and do well.
It is a new day. And I need to find biblical verses that support the above resolve. I know they are there, I just don't know what specific verses apply. But I will find them and post them. If any reader can respond for me, I'd appreciate it. It will do two things...alleviate the time commitment it would take to find them, and...tell me that someone is actually reading my blog! Any way, I thank God because...
It's a new day!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The clown in the home improvement suit - the MHIC as a farce to be reckoned with
A few people know my story. It is one of opportunity and an example of the America spirit. But at the same time, it is tragic how idiotic lawmakers and well-intentioned bureaucrats have made it more difficult for someone to compete and stay in business. I am specifically citing the Maryland State regulations pertaining to Home Improvement businesses as being the culprit that makes it more difficult to remain afloat in this economic environment.
Admittedly, I started out as an unlicensed contractor, ignorant to the regulations that existed in the state. I started painting houses after being financially wiped out when a partner, in an insurance business, walked off with all our corporate cash. Needing to feed my family of three young children plus a wife, I reverted to a skill I had developed in putting myself through college in the late 70's. Fortunately, a good friend of mine got me started as a handyman at his estate. Working out of my family Ford Tempo (sedan), I started passing out business cards to family, friends and paint stores. The first contract I got was an old Victorian in Lutherville. The job came with a huge financial loss and a letter from the Home Improvement Commission warning me to become licensed, or I was subject to a $10,000 fine and/or a year in jail. Needless to say, this surprised me. I hustled to get my license before I did any more marketing of my new painting business.
I remember the day I was notified that I had obtained my license. When I opened the door to our house, after a long day at work, my wife had strung a banner across the arch to our dining room that read, "Congratulations, #46541!" It really was a momentous occasion at our house!
For purposes of understanding, allow me to explain the breakdown of MHIC licenses that are available:
Sales License - allowed to negotiate the contract and collect a deposit, but not allowed to perform any work. Usually works for a General Contractor license holder
Sub-contractor's license - allowed to do the work, based on reported trade competency, but not allowed to negotiate a contract or handle money from the customer. Usually works for a General Contractor license holder
General Contractors license - allowed to negotiate a contract directly with the consumer, handle deposits or payments from the consumer and do the work. May also hire either or both a Sales and Sub-contractor license holder. I held a GC License for years.
In order to be licensed, I had to study a state manual on business principles and state regulations. I had to pass an open book test, provide proof of financial viability, knowledge of my industry through references and obtain liability insurance. I had to provide the home improvement commission with certificates of insurance, proof that I was continually covered, plus workers compensation if I had hired just one person. It is the law, the regulation to be entitled to be in (a legitimate) business. And so I abided for years.
I eventually joined my trade association (the PDCA) in an effort to become more professional in my business. The more I learned about the painting business, the more I learned what I didn't know. And the more I learned about proper pricing, customer and employee relations, and quality of service. I tried to put all these things in place, but learned it had to be done a piece at a time. I hired consultants, but learned that I could only implement what I was competent in. And found many things I wasn't competent in.
As I would market, and do estimates, on my follow ups, I found many of my competing contractors were unlicensed ones. Somehow, many of the people I gave estimates to would give me information on what I was competing with. Perhaps, this just became a sticking point with me. For approximately a year, I spent time as a sales person for two of the larger paint companies. I had access to their customer base. In both instances, I did a personal study of the list of contractor customers of the paint companies and compared them to the list of licensed contractors in the Maryland Home Improvement Commission (MHIC) online data base. What was discovered was that 2/3rds the customer base of both credit and cash accounts were not licensed through the MHIC. This became an appalling statistic. And I began to ask why so many were undetected. After all, somebody had to have turned me in at an early stage of my business. Why hadn't these long standing businesses been called out also?
Over the last several years, when asked, the MHIC would say that is the job of the market, the licensed contractor community and the general public, to police the unlicensed contractors. They said they didn't have the resources and personnel to police the marketplace. They were too busy handling complaints between customers and contractors. In addition, they said unlicensed contractors did not pose a significant problem to the public. They cited their own statistic on that. By chance, I had the opportunity to meet a person who worked in the executive offices of the MHIC through a mutual friend. This person told me that they have thousands of complaints against licensed contractors and relatively only a few dozen against unlicensed ones. Their in house information did not justify policing licensing status in the marketplace.
It wasn't until many years later, I found out why there may be more complaints against licensed contractors versus unlicensed ones.
Here are some issues that exist with the MHIC for legitimate contractors:
In conclusion, in the state of Maryland, if I want to maximize my profits in order to grow, it is better for me to fly UNDER the radar by not being licensed than to be licensed. But I can not grow as an unlicensed contractor because I then start flying into the radar. It starts looking better to be a small contractor, with personal connections and no license. I can not, however, succumb to that temptation because of my high visibility in this industry. I couldn't help but think that some bureaucrat would want to make an example of me. So, it is better to go out of business than to start up operations again and create new jobs. Regulations are strangling opportunities to develop my business and grow new jobs.
What should the legislature do?
Admittedly, I started out as an unlicensed contractor, ignorant to the regulations that existed in the state. I started painting houses after being financially wiped out when a partner, in an insurance business, walked off with all our corporate cash. Needing to feed my family of three young children plus a wife, I reverted to a skill I had developed in putting myself through college in the late 70's. Fortunately, a good friend of mine got me started as a handyman at his estate. Working out of my family Ford Tempo (sedan), I started passing out business cards to family, friends and paint stores. The first contract I got was an old Victorian in Lutherville. The job came with a huge financial loss and a letter from the Home Improvement Commission warning me to become licensed, or I was subject to a $10,000 fine and/or a year in jail. Needless to say, this surprised me. I hustled to get my license before I did any more marketing of my new painting business.
I remember the day I was notified that I had obtained my license. When I opened the door to our house, after a long day at work, my wife had strung a banner across the arch to our dining room that read, "Congratulations, #46541!" It really was a momentous occasion at our house!
For purposes of understanding, allow me to explain the breakdown of MHIC licenses that are available:
Sales License - allowed to negotiate the contract and collect a deposit, but not allowed to perform any work. Usually works for a General Contractor license holder
Sub-contractor's license - allowed to do the work, based on reported trade competency, but not allowed to negotiate a contract or handle money from the customer. Usually works for a General Contractor license holder
General Contractors license - allowed to negotiate a contract directly with the consumer, handle deposits or payments from the consumer and do the work. May also hire either or both a Sales and Sub-contractor license holder. I held a GC License for years.
In order to be licensed, I had to study a state manual on business principles and state regulations. I had to pass an open book test, provide proof of financial viability, knowledge of my industry through references and obtain liability insurance. I had to provide the home improvement commission with certificates of insurance, proof that I was continually covered, plus workers compensation if I had hired just one person. It is the law, the regulation to be entitled to be in (a legitimate) business. And so I abided for years.
I eventually joined my trade association (the PDCA) in an effort to become more professional in my business. The more I learned about the painting business, the more I learned what I didn't know. And the more I learned about proper pricing, customer and employee relations, and quality of service. I tried to put all these things in place, but learned it had to be done a piece at a time. I hired consultants, but learned that I could only implement what I was competent in. And found many things I wasn't competent in.
As I would market, and do estimates, on my follow ups, I found many of my competing contractors were unlicensed ones. Somehow, many of the people I gave estimates to would give me information on what I was competing with. Perhaps, this just became a sticking point with me. For approximately a year, I spent time as a sales person for two of the larger paint companies. I had access to their customer base. In both instances, I did a personal study of the list of contractor customers of the paint companies and compared them to the list of licensed contractors in the Maryland Home Improvement Commission (MHIC) online data base. What was discovered was that 2/3rds the customer base of both credit and cash accounts were not licensed through the MHIC. This became an appalling statistic. And I began to ask why so many were undetected. After all, somebody had to have turned me in at an early stage of my business. Why hadn't these long standing businesses been called out also?
Over the last several years, when asked, the MHIC would say that is the job of the market, the licensed contractor community and the general public, to police the unlicensed contractors. They said they didn't have the resources and personnel to police the marketplace. They were too busy handling complaints between customers and contractors. In addition, they said unlicensed contractors did not pose a significant problem to the public. They cited their own statistic on that. By chance, I had the opportunity to meet a person who worked in the executive offices of the MHIC through a mutual friend. This person told me that they have thousands of complaints against licensed contractors and relatively only a few dozen against unlicensed ones. Their in house information did not justify policing licensing status in the marketplace.
It wasn't until many years later, I found out why there may be more complaints against licensed contractors versus unlicensed ones.
Here are some issues that exist with the MHIC for legitimate contractors:
- MHIC rules promote extortion. As in my case, I had a customer who found another cheaper contractor to do their work after I had already started the job with a significant deposit ($3000 against a $9000 job), received as allowed by MHIC regulations. Coupled with delays due to weather and having to postpone at a very inopportune time of the repair process, the customer got justifiably concerned over the progress of the job (as I was due to the unforeseen delays...I had guys who wanted to work). This customer threatened to take me to the MHIC if I did not return all of the deposit money and cancel the contract. We had completed over half the job and had run up approx $5000 in billable work at that point. But they still demanded that I return their deposit, and they turned me in, with a complaint to the MHIC. Yes, I had everything documented as to our progress including pictures, but I didn't want the blemish to appear on my then perfect MHIC record. So, I agreed to a $1000 payoff for the customer to drop their complaint. The customer basically blackmailed me and extorted funds from me. In short summary, the MHIC regulations allow unruly and unethical consumers the opportunity to extort funds from legitimate contractors.
- MHIC identifies and promotes opportunities for retaliation. In the past, before I was licensed, a person could turn in an unlicensed contractor and remain anonymous. Today, the name of the accuser or originator of the complaint must accompany the formal complaint. Who, in their right mind, as a permanently documented and visible person, wants to report someone who may or may not be of criminal mentality while they are still free and loose in society? That's not to say that all unlicensed contractors have criminal mentality, but that's like saying not all the chambers have bullets in them, so it would be OK to pull the trigger. This policy is ill-advised. Complaints or reports about unlicensed contractors should always carry anonymity.
- MHIC relies on other people to do their jobs. The MHIC now openly admits to rely on licensed contractors to turn in unlicensed ones. How foolish is this policy? Do I want my tires slashed in retaliation to turning in an unlicensed contractor? Or would it be better for me to just tend to the difficulties of business instead of wasting my valuable time in filling out complaint forms? (Instead, am I wasting my time blogging about it?) And remain vulnerable to retaliations? Suppose we are in a war, and the sonar room was setup at headquarters. It would be as if the battleships were told to be on the lookout for enemy submarines. And HQ's requirement is: "Just let us know, and we'll take care of making sure the enemy is fired upon. We're too busy cleaning our instruments, and we had to hire too many people to do THAT, we can't look in the water for you!"
- MHIC rules are inequitable. The MHIC regulations pertain to doing any kind of work on a residence. It does not pertain to commercial or industrial work. So, the MHIC rules pertain to businesses like mine that centered around working on residential buildings. Even though it is a fact that many commercial and industrial contractors are privately asked to perform work at the homes and residences of their commercial and industrial customers, they do so without an MHIC license and abiding by it's stipulations. However, because I am required to have an MHIC license, with resulting quality requirements, my per man hour and production costs start out higher and can not compete in the commercial or industrial market. But they can compete in the residential market, price wise (perhaps not quality wise). Selective application of the MHIC licensing is another inept, unfair and unjust policy.
- The MHIC does a horrible job at properly educating the public. Many unlicensed contractors know that the state will not police their businesses for proper MHIC licensing. But will police for business licenses. So, many contractors will say that they are "licensed" when in fact, they only hold a business license and NOT an MHIC license, which is additionally required. If a customer asks, "are you licensed?" The contractor, meaning he holds a business license, will say, "Yes." The consumer does not know enough to ask if they hold an MHIC license, for the most part. Since there are no reciprocal arrangements between licensing agencies in the state of Maryland, no checking is done to ensure that contracting companies hold the proper licensing requirements. And consumers are not aware of the differences between a simple business license and an MHIC one.
- The MHIC license does not always equate to quality work. There are many unlicensed painting contractors out there who provide high quality work and high caliber service. They may be upstanding, good people. But the fact remains that they are still unlicensed and thereby operating illegally. The MHIC test does not test for competency in the trade. Although the application asks for 2 years of experience in the trade, it is supposed to be verified by employment records. And as a license holder, I am "regulator-ily" qualified to offer any new Home Improvement service to the consumer, regardless of my competency in that service or product. Much of the public does not care about proper licensing, either. They may, in fact, actually hire unlicensed contractors because they want a cheaper price, or they know the person by reputation, or by referral. The public does not always care about whether a small contractor is licensed or not. They usually care about quality of character. There is no requirement for the consumer to hire a licensed contractor either.
- An MHIC license does not assure an up to date, educated contractor. There are no ongoing requirements to become proficient in my trade or business once I obtain an MHIC license. All I have to do is maintain credit worthiness and pay my license renewal fee (tax) every other year. There are no continuing educational issues like being informed on update legislative issues as laws change, or ethics requirements, or proficiency of trade tests. There are no ongoing courses on business management requirements, on updating knowledge of accounting principles, or environmental issues (although the Federal EPA is now requiring separate requirements on these issues). Of course requiring these updates of any licensee would only widen the divide between the legitimate contractor versus the black market contractor. One would have to seriously consider "going underground." based on costs and profits alone.
- There's no protection for improper referrals. Many of my Realtor friends have cards from unlicensed contractors in their portfolios. My question is why are these (Maryland licensed) entities allowed to promote and refer unlicensed, illegal entities? I understand the ramifications of liability associated with referring out bad contractors, but why isn't there a universal application of licensing regulations applied to referrals. Why does one licensed entity get to refer an unlicensed entity, when there is a requirement for that entity to be licensed? Shouldn't there be a requirement that if you were a licensed entity in the state of Maryland, then you would be required to promote and protect the licensing requirements throughout the state as it applies to all businesses? Shouldn't it be just as illegal for licensed entities to refer unlicensed entities, as it is for unlicensed entities to exist? Aren't the licensed entities promoting illegal behavior through referring and promoting unlicensed contractors? I say, if you are going to have licensing of contractors at all, then the same penalties should apply to those who promote these illegal operations.
In conclusion, in the state of Maryland, if I want to maximize my profits in order to grow, it is better for me to fly UNDER the radar by not being licensed than to be licensed. But I can not grow as an unlicensed contractor because I then start flying into the radar. It starts looking better to be a small contractor, with personal connections and no license. I can not, however, succumb to that temptation because of my high visibility in this industry. I couldn't help but think that some bureaucrat would want to make an example of me. So, it is better to go out of business than to start up operations again and create new jobs. Regulations are strangling opportunities to develop my business and grow new jobs.
What should the legislature do?
- Expand the MHIC regulations to more businesses? As a Republican, I abhor this as more bureaucratic costs. Although it would bring in more money to the coffers of the state, this simply increases costs more to an ever shrinking till for each business.
- Remove the regulations altogether? Now, I like THAT idea! But in our ever liberal lawmakers' twisted mentality, that will never happen...to remove protection of the consumer.
- Perhaps a better defined regulation should be enacted. Perhaps applying MHIC type licensing to contracts only over a certain size (like $1500), or to contractors who have a total of 5/10/15 or more employees or subcontractors. This would allow the guy who is simply out of work to work for his generous neighbors to help him out. This would allow the little guy some relief of regulations and expenses associated with running his/her business. The market will take care of those who fail the test of business ownership. And membership in and participation in trade association educational functions can ensure a better qualified contractor for the public to choose from.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
1-1-11
It's a new year, and as I was looking over this blog, I can't believe I didn't enter anything in during the whole month of December. Alot has happened and I need to get on with things.
Last night was not a good sleeping night. Both Wendy and I were on the threshhold of a cold or something and we decided to "try" to get to bed early. But these darned colds and illnesses have their way of affecting us at just the wrong times. Emily came home early (surprising us on Christmas Eve!) and was out last night. She called at 3:20am to tell us she decidied to stay in Westminster for the night, rather than come home, then off to Thurmont the next day (today). I was relieve she made the wise decision to stay up there. I think part of my tossing and turning was partly due to worrying about her safety on NY eve. (A father's summer solstice is spent worrying about his family) Fortunately, I was up and struggling to shut my eyes, so answering the phone was only an invitation to play solitaire until 6:45am. I don't usually have insomnia, but coupled with a cold, it's not too pleasant. I'm just thankful I don't have anything I HAVE to tend to this weekend.
Just the same, numerous thoughts raced through my mind as I lay in the dark, trying to rest.
#1 - I gotta get a job. For some reason, this thought kept me tossing and turning, and for the life of me, I don't know why this hadn't happened sooner. I know the goal I was working on was to finish my Associates Degree in Cooking and Baking at Baltimore International College (BIC). I knew that I couldn't and didn't want to work in a restaurant kitchen, particularly as short order cook. The last class I took (A la carte) ruined my appetitie for this work. Perhaps it was the horrible "instructors" we had for this class. But I grew a disdain for working in those types of environments. I experienced what "the weeds" are. And with my first three days on the hot line being a catastrophe, I say "No thank you." But I also think if I had been properly prepared and instructed. I spent most of my time doing administrative things during my assigned 2.5 weeks in the kitchen. I actually only spent three days there and missed whatever instruction the chef gave to the class, mainly due to the projects he had me on. Frankly, I felt this was unfair, but I appreciated excelling in the administrative area of running a restaurant, more than the hot line. The good side is that this administrative project he had me on may result in a business opportunity for me to provide HACCP plans for reataurants and food establishments. The pay is so much better than working at the stove or prep station. And at this point in my life, I don't know if I could survive doing grunt work anyway. I've been there, done that. It's not that I want to jump to the "top" so soon (like my father always accuses me of), it's that my mind doesn't work in coordination with my body to do those things efficiently or effectively. It was that kind of way in my painting business. I had gotten out of or lost the ability or drive to do good, clean work. Instead, I thought about planning and implementation of work systems and projects and marketing and managing other people to do the good, clean work.. If this is true for other people in my situation (redesigning themselves during their 50's), then falling back on a trade or working with my hands is becoming less of an option. I used to live by an addage that "if it's gonna be, then it's up to me." But that assumes that, at least, I can put my nose to the gringstone and work a physical job. I'm going to have to rediscover my God given abilities (for which I tend to sell myself so short for).
My option for work are thus:
1 - go back into the painting business
2 - get a job through my contacts and training at BIC in the culinary field, in a kitchen (even if its a dishwashing job)
3 - develop more of the consulting aspect in the food business, doing HACCP plans, working with another student and one of the chef instructors
4 - go back into the real estate business (which is what I enjoyed more than anything else) as a Realtor
5 - go back into the insurance business (AFLAC is calling)
6 - wait everything out and see where my current volunteer positions take me (President of the community association; Treasurer for Tom Morgan's campaign; Treasurer for the Baltimore County Republican Central Committee; Treasurer for the Reagan Republican Club; current nominee, and assumed heir as President of the Reagn Republican Club); or use these contacts as a springboard for a new career.
When I put it all down on "paper", my options seem like a real mess with no set direction or common element. I'll have to pursue the thought on these options more thoroughly.
When it come right down to it, my father-in-law was right when he spoke to me on his death bed. DECIDE what you want to do then STICK with it. (He added...just take care of Babs and Wendy for me...). That was why I stuck with the painting business so long. His words and my agreement kept coming back to me. If it weren't for that damned Siegner strongly suggesting that I get out of the painting business... (there's another guy who I fully respect).
More thoughts later...
Last night was not a good sleeping night. Both Wendy and I were on the threshhold of a cold or something and we decided to "try" to get to bed early. But these darned colds and illnesses have their way of affecting us at just the wrong times. Emily came home early (surprising us on Christmas Eve!) and was out last night. She called at 3:20am to tell us she decidied to stay in Westminster for the night, rather than come home, then off to Thurmont the next day (today). I was relieve she made the wise decision to stay up there. I think part of my tossing and turning was partly due to worrying about her safety on NY eve. (A father's summer solstice is spent worrying about his family) Fortunately, I was up and struggling to shut my eyes, so answering the phone was only an invitation to play solitaire until 6:45am. I don't usually have insomnia, but coupled with a cold, it's not too pleasant. I'm just thankful I don't have anything I HAVE to tend to this weekend.
Just the same, numerous thoughts raced through my mind as I lay in the dark, trying to rest.
#1 - I gotta get a job. For some reason, this thought kept me tossing and turning, and for the life of me, I don't know why this hadn't happened sooner. I know the goal I was working on was to finish my Associates Degree in Cooking and Baking at Baltimore International College (BIC). I knew that I couldn't and didn't want to work in a restaurant kitchen, particularly as short order cook. The last class I took (A la carte) ruined my appetitie for this work. Perhaps it was the horrible "instructors" we had for this class. But I grew a disdain for working in those types of environments. I experienced what "the weeds" are. And with my first three days on the hot line being a catastrophe, I say "No thank you." But I also think if I had been properly prepared and instructed. I spent most of my time doing administrative things during my assigned 2.5 weeks in the kitchen. I actually only spent three days there and missed whatever instruction the chef gave to the class, mainly due to the projects he had me on. Frankly, I felt this was unfair, but I appreciated excelling in the administrative area of running a restaurant, more than the hot line. The good side is that this administrative project he had me on may result in a business opportunity for me to provide HACCP plans for reataurants and food establishments. The pay is so much better than working at the stove or prep station. And at this point in my life, I don't know if I could survive doing grunt work anyway. I've been there, done that. It's not that I want to jump to the "top" so soon (like my father always accuses me of), it's that my mind doesn't work in coordination with my body to do those things efficiently or effectively. It was that kind of way in my painting business. I had gotten out of or lost the ability or drive to do good, clean work. Instead, I thought about planning and implementation of work systems and projects and marketing and managing other people to do the good, clean work.. If this is true for other people in my situation (redesigning themselves during their 50's), then falling back on a trade or working with my hands is becoming less of an option. I used to live by an addage that "if it's gonna be, then it's up to me." But that assumes that, at least, I can put my nose to the gringstone and work a physical job. I'm going to have to rediscover my God given abilities (for which I tend to sell myself so short for).
My option for work are thus:
1 - go back into the painting business
2 - get a job through my contacts and training at BIC in the culinary field, in a kitchen (even if its a dishwashing job)
3 - develop more of the consulting aspect in the food business, doing HACCP plans, working with another student and one of the chef instructors
4 - go back into the real estate business (which is what I enjoyed more than anything else) as a Realtor
5 - go back into the insurance business (AFLAC is calling)
6 - wait everything out and see where my current volunteer positions take me (President of the community association; Treasurer for Tom Morgan's campaign; Treasurer for the Baltimore County Republican Central Committee; Treasurer for the Reagan Republican Club; current nominee, and assumed heir as President of the Reagn Republican Club); or use these contacts as a springboard for a new career.
When I put it all down on "paper", my options seem like a real mess with no set direction or common element. I'll have to pursue the thought on these options more thoroughly.
When it come right down to it, my father-in-law was right when he spoke to me on his death bed. DECIDE what you want to do then STICK with it. (He added...just take care of Babs and Wendy for me...). That was why I stuck with the painting business so long. His words and my agreement kept coming back to me. If it weren't for that damned Siegner strongly suggesting that I get out of the painting business... (there's another guy who I fully respect).
More thoughts later...
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
It gets messy in the middle
My thoughts on the recent messy issues surrounding the Baltimore County Republican Central Committee and its Chairman:
As a former contractor, we used to have a saying when preparing customers for an extended project: "It gets messy in the middle..."
In most instances, when something has to be rebuilt, the rebuilding process is not necessarily pretty. But the end result is worth the aggravation. Being a long term thinker, rather than living by knee jerk reactions, helps to keep sanity afloat during an arduous time of rebuilding.
Although many people are/were appalled by the issues that arose during the first few weeks of this new political season, my personal opinion is that I am glad to go through it now rather than later. This gives us a chance to identify deficiencies and repair or replace them. If the party and the committee keeps looking forward, all this will eventually be thought of as helpful and useful for moving the party forward.
Embrace the conflict. Learn from it and let's make corrections. Those who continually meander through the deficiencies will only get lost in failure. But by using these times as stepping stones, we can build to new heights. Yes, I know this sounds good. But there is truth here. What we need is vision...a goal...a mission; to keep us focused and moving towards making Maryland a strong state and our communities a safe and healthy and more prosperous place to live.
As a former contractor, we used to have a saying when preparing customers for an extended project: "It gets messy in the middle..."
In most instances, when something has to be rebuilt, the rebuilding process is not necessarily pretty. But the end result is worth the aggravation. Being a long term thinker, rather than living by knee jerk reactions, helps to keep sanity afloat during an arduous time of rebuilding.
Although many people are/were appalled by the issues that arose during the first few weeks of this new political season, my personal opinion is that I am glad to go through it now rather than later. This gives us a chance to identify deficiencies and repair or replace them. If the party and the committee keeps looking forward, all this will eventually be thought of as helpful and useful for moving the party forward.
Embrace the conflict. Learn from it and let's make corrections. Those who continually meander through the deficiencies will only get lost in failure. But by using these times as stepping stones, we can build to new heights. Yes, I know this sounds good. But there is truth here. What we need is vision...a goal...a mission; to keep us focused and moving towards making Maryland a strong state and our communities a safe and healthy and more prosperous place to live.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Battling depression
Many people don't know or realize that I battle deep seated depression. It's plagued me all my life. I've had the fortune of getting professional counseling when I was in High School, but mostly because of my inability to relate to people and to withdraw. I learned a lot of techniques in dealing with people, and became somewhat used to sticking my hand out to greet people. It became a way of fighting or overcoming my fear of people and situations. But I still had these feelings of doubt and low self-esteem. It was actually due to my Tourrettes, which manifested itself a little later on in life. I'll write about how I found out I had TS in some other post. But for now, about battling the demons of depression.
I know I would be susceptible to these extremely low periods in my life. I would try to mask it, and found that I could deal with it as I got busier in life. As I became busier, I wouldn't have time to think or just sit and get this creeping feeling over me. But what I found was that the busier I got,often times, the harder the fall when depression would kick in again.
After studying my family background, I became convinced that my mother's side had/has a chemical imbalance that is hereditary. I have no justification for this belief other than my own observations, conjecture and anecdotal evidence. But for myself, it is enough to believe in and work with.
I read many, many positive thinking books. I got deeper into my faith. But there were still times I felt these feeling of incredible highs and deep lows. Some might call it manic depressive. And the definition of that term surely fits what I was experiencing. But I never went back to counseling, basically because we never could afford it. I never thought there was anything wrong with counseling, because you end up with some great tools, once you can identify your demons.
For me, because I was convinced that there had to be something in our physical makeup, that could only mean a naturally occurring chemical issue. I found that this could be triggered by certain events, or certain "let-down" times, after high stress events or periods. Essentially, my body was using or mis-managing the available chemicals in my body. I decided to get Vitamin therapy. One way I got help was listening to tapes from various Nutrilite distributors and dietitian. What I found really helped me manage the highs and lows of my life. On one of the tapes, I heard the speaker talk about how our bodies will use up much of the vitamin B's in our systems, and that we need to replenish it. Also, Vitamin D was needed. When I started taking Vitamin B Complex, I found that my mood swings weren't as volatile, and I seemed to "even out" in my emotions. Soon I discovered that Vitamin B complex aided me in sleeping, when I took it just before I went to bed. I slept more soundly. And if I ever got too little sleep, taking Vitamin B helped me handle that "hung over" feeling (even tho I wasn't drinking) during the next day or morning.
I know this sounds like one of those infomercials for snake oil, but Vitamin B therapy really worked for me. I talked with my doctor about it and he suggested that I take Vitamin B, made with rice, rather than the chemical equivalency. I took many different vitamins over the years, but found that the best ones for me was always Nutrilite. And second was Nature's Best. I became a Nutrilite distributor which helped cut the costs of these expensive vitamins. But I also found the NB in the super market aisle did a pretty good job too.
As a side note, the garlic tablets from Nutrilite helped keep my cholesterol in check for years and helped clean out my arteries. When I had a catheterization done, the doctor told me he could drive a Mac truck through my veins, they were so clean. He said he hadn't seen many like that.
Just the same, whenever I feel down and depressed to this day, Wendy always asks me if I've taken my B's. And for the most part, I hadn't yet. But with in a short period of time, the Vitamins start kicking in & filling the needs that my body demands. The only odd thing about it, is that my pee is bright yellow from the Vitamin B's. That's about the extent of the side effects.
Vitamins B Complex...it's the way to go to help me stay on an even keel, to sleep soundly and to feel better in the morning after little sleep; when I need to pull only a few hours of sleep.
Another therapy for me has always been a long hug from my wife. I also love hugging other people. I guess I'm just a hugger, if somebody doesn't mind being a huggie! (Not to be confused with throw away diapers!). For some reason, i feel like I get energy from those whom I love and it helps to be in physical contact alot. I have noticed that the longer I go without that contact, the more prone I am to depression outbreaks or panic attacks. When my wife, Wendy, reaches over to comfort me, it helps me relax and I seem to gain a little more control. The only fruistrating thing is that it's not her nature to be that way. So I have to fight this more that I would hope to. I got to figure out how to train her to bemore touchy feelie, if you know what I mean. But after 30 years of marriage, if it hasn't happened by now, I'm not sure that it will. I can only hope. :)
I truly hope this helps anyone who reads this. But I still struggle with depression from time to time. It's just not as severe.
I know I would be susceptible to these extremely low periods in my life. I would try to mask it, and found that I could deal with it as I got busier in life. As I became busier, I wouldn't have time to think or just sit and get this creeping feeling over me. But what I found was that the busier I got,often times, the harder the fall when depression would kick in again.
After studying my family background, I became convinced that my mother's side had/has a chemical imbalance that is hereditary. I have no justification for this belief other than my own observations, conjecture and anecdotal evidence. But for myself, it is enough to believe in and work with.
I read many, many positive thinking books. I got deeper into my faith. But there were still times I felt these feeling of incredible highs and deep lows. Some might call it manic depressive. And the definition of that term surely fits what I was experiencing. But I never went back to counseling, basically because we never could afford it. I never thought there was anything wrong with counseling, because you end up with some great tools, once you can identify your demons.
For me, because I was convinced that there had to be something in our physical makeup, that could only mean a naturally occurring chemical issue. I found that this could be triggered by certain events, or certain "let-down" times, after high stress events or periods. Essentially, my body was using or mis-managing the available chemicals in my body. I decided to get Vitamin therapy. One way I got help was listening to tapes from various Nutrilite distributors and dietitian. What I found really helped me manage the highs and lows of my life. On one of the tapes, I heard the speaker talk about how our bodies will use up much of the vitamin B's in our systems, and that we need to replenish it. Also, Vitamin D was needed. When I started taking Vitamin B Complex, I found that my mood swings weren't as volatile, and I seemed to "even out" in my emotions. Soon I discovered that Vitamin B complex aided me in sleeping, when I took it just before I went to bed. I slept more soundly. And if I ever got too little sleep, taking Vitamin B helped me handle that "hung over" feeling (even tho I wasn't drinking) during the next day or morning.
I know this sounds like one of those infomercials for snake oil, but Vitamin B therapy really worked for me. I talked with my doctor about it and he suggested that I take Vitamin B, made with rice, rather than the chemical equivalency. I took many different vitamins over the years, but found that the best ones for me was always Nutrilite. And second was Nature's Best. I became a Nutrilite distributor which helped cut the costs of these expensive vitamins. But I also found the NB in the super market aisle did a pretty good job too.
As a side note, the garlic tablets from Nutrilite helped keep my cholesterol in check for years and helped clean out my arteries. When I had a catheterization done, the doctor told me he could drive a Mac truck through my veins, they were so clean. He said he hadn't seen many like that.
Just the same, whenever I feel down and depressed to this day, Wendy always asks me if I've taken my B's. And for the most part, I hadn't yet. But with in a short period of time, the Vitamins start kicking in & filling the needs that my body demands. The only odd thing about it, is that my pee is bright yellow from the Vitamin B's. That's about the extent of the side effects.
Vitamins B Complex...it's the way to go to help me stay on an even keel, to sleep soundly and to feel better in the morning after little sleep; when I need to pull only a few hours of sleep.
Another therapy for me has always been a long hug from my wife. I also love hugging other people. I guess I'm just a hugger, if somebody doesn't mind being a huggie! (Not to be confused with throw away diapers!). For some reason, i feel like I get energy from those whom I love and it helps to be in physical contact alot. I have noticed that the longer I go without that contact, the more prone I am to depression outbreaks or panic attacks. When my wife, Wendy, reaches over to comfort me, it helps me relax and I seem to gain a little more control. The only fruistrating thing is that it's not her nature to be that way. So I have to fight this more that I would hope to. I got to figure out how to train her to bemore touchy feelie, if you know what I mean. But after 30 years of marriage, if it hasn't happened by now, I'm not sure that it will. I can only hope. :)
I truly hope this helps anyone who reads this. But I still struggle with depression from time to time. It's just not as severe.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Now that that's out of my system...
Do you ever wish you could eat your words? But it becomes more like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube? Well, my last post was something like that. I'm a little taken back by my own negativity and self pity. But when life makes you look into the mirror, if there aren't instances that can make you humble, then you aren't looking at life through the eyes of reality.
I guess I could say that my life has been full of failures. And quite frankly, I am very thankful for that. I could let it/them freeze me into inactivity, but I continue to move forward, if only at a snail's pace. I have learned every step along the way, and it keeps me vigilant, to a point, of continuing the struggle to stay positive. It's kind of like a compass, where I am motivated to keep pointing in the direction of fulfillment. I may have made a mistake by inviting my old gal, D, to read my blog. I didn't want to embarass her or make her feel put out by the fruits of her and her husband's hard work. And I certainly didn't want her to feel sorry for me. She may even be mad at me. And I could understand that. No one should apologize for reaping the rewards of such long and tedious hours spent on building a business. And certainly, no one should be surprised by the stumbles I have experienced. Both are very common in this great country of ours. I'm just sorry I admitted to doing a little self-comparison. I know full well, that is not a very healthy thing to do. I really am truly grateful, on their behalf to see this sytem work in this country. D and her husband deserve all. And I continue to be a cheerleader for their success.
The one thing I am a little more regretful about is not allowing the word of God to take control of my thoughts during this time of reflection. It made me realize that I need to spend more time in the Word. And study God's principles. I will try to do this better. I can't promise every day. The intentions are there, but I know my history shows other failures to fulfill this wish.
Yes, things are up in the air for me. And I am certainly at a crossroads. It is very tempting to make drastic life changes, especially when you feel that certain elements have gotten you to where you are, and they won't go away or change unless you sttrike them from your life. Certain things are just too precious to do that.
If anything, I need prayers. And I need someone to physically lean on, to hold, to hug and hug back. I pray that those in my life are those who I can rely on.
I will learn from this break down and move forward. The tendencies may still be there, but the movement must be towards the truth and hope.
I guess I could say that my life has been full of failures. And quite frankly, I am very thankful for that. I could let it/them freeze me into inactivity, but I continue to move forward, if only at a snail's pace. I have learned every step along the way, and it keeps me vigilant, to a point, of continuing the struggle to stay positive. It's kind of like a compass, where I am motivated to keep pointing in the direction of fulfillment. I may have made a mistake by inviting my old gal, D, to read my blog. I didn't want to embarass her or make her feel put out by the fruits of her and her husband's hard work. And I certainly didn't want her to feel sorry for me. She may even be mad at me. And I could understand that. No one should apologize for reaping the rewards of such long and tedious hours spent on building a business. And certainly, no one should be surprised by the stumbles I have experienced. Both are very common in this great country of ours. I'm just sorry I admitted to doing a little self-comparison. I know full well, that is not a very healthy thing to do. I really am truly grateful, on their behalf to see this sytem work in this country. D and her husband deserve all. And I continue to be a cheerleader for their success.
The one thing I am a little more regretful about is not allowing the word of God to take control of my thoughts during this time of reflection. It made me realize that I need to spend more time in the Word. And study God's principles. I will try to do this better. I can't promise every day. The intentions are there, but I know my history shows other failures to fulfill this wish.
Yes, things are up in the air for me. And I am certainly at a crossroads. It is very tempting to make drastic life changes, especially when you feel that certain elements have gotten you to where you are, and they won't go away or change unless you sttrike them from your life. Certain things are just too precious to do that.
If anything, I need prayers. And I need someone to physically lean on, to hold, to hug and hug back. I pray that those in my life are those who I can rely on.
I will learn from this break down and move forward. The tendencies may still be there, but the movement must be towards the truth and hope.
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