My thoughts on the recent messy issues surrounding the Baltimore County Republican Central Committee and its Chairman:
As a former contractor, we used to have a saying when preparing customers for an extended project: "It gets messy in the middle..."
In most instances, when something has to be rebuilt, the rebuilding process is not necessarily pretty. But the end result is worth the aggravation. Being a long term thinker, rather than living by knee jerk reactions, helps to keep sanity afloat during an arduous time of rebuilding.
Although many people are/were appalled by the issues that arose during the first few weeks of this new political season, my personal opinion is that I am glad to go through it now rather than later. This gives us a chance to identify deficiencies and repair or replace them. If the party and the committee keeps looking forward, all this will eventually be thought of as helpful and useful for moving the party forward.
Embrace the conflict. Learn from it and let's make corrections. Those who continually meander through the deficiencies will only get lost in failure. But by using these times as stepping stones, we can build to new heights. Yes, I know this sounds good. But there is truth here. What we need is vision...a goal...a mission; to keep us focused and moving towards making Maryland a strong state and our communities a safe and healthy and more prosperous place to live.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Battling depression
Many people don't know or realize that I battle deep seated depression. It's plagued me all my life. I've had the fortune of getting professional counseling when I was in High School, but mostly because of my inability to relate to people and to withdraw. I learned a lot of techniques in dealing with people, and became somewhat used to sticking my hand out to greet people. It became a way of fighting or overcoming my fear of people and situations. But I still had these feelings of doubt and low self-esteem. It was actually due to my Tourrettes, which manifested itself a little later on in life. I'll write about how I found out I had TS in some other post. But for now, about battling the demons of depression.
I know I would be susceptible to these extremely low periods in my life. I would try to mask it, and found that I could deal with it as I got busier in life. As I became busier, I wouldn't have time to think or just sit and get this creeping feeling over me. But what I found was that the busier I got,often times, the harder the fall when depression would kick in again.
After studying my family background, I became convinced that my mother's side had/has a chemical imbalance that is hereditary. I have no justification for this belief other than my own observations, conjecture and anecdotal evidence. But for myself, it is enough to believe in and work with.
I read many, many positive thinking books. I got deeper into my faith. But there were still times I felt these feeling of incredible highs and deep lows. Some might call it manic depressive. And the definition of that term surely fits what I was experiencing. But I never went back to counseling, basically because we never could afford it. I never thought there was anything wrong with counseling, because you end up with some great tools, once you can identify your demons.
For me, because I was convinced that there had to be something in our physical makeup, that could only mean a naturally occurring chemical issue. I found that this could be triggered by certain events, or certain "let-down" times, after high stress events or periods. Essentially, my body was using or mis-managing the available chemicals in my body. I decided to get Vitamin therapy. One way I got help was listening to tapes from various Nutrilite distributors and dietitian. What I found really helped me manage the highs and lows of my life. On one of the tapes, I heard the speaker talk about how our bodies will use up much of the vitamin B's in our systems, and that we need to replenish it. Also, Vitamin D was needed. When I started taking Vitamin B Complex, I found that my mood swings weren't as volatile, and I seemed to "even out" in my emotions. Soon I discovered that Vitamin B complex aided me in sleeping, when I took it just before I went to bed. I slept more soundly. And if I ever got too little sleep, taking Vitamin B helped me handle that "hung over" feeling (even tho I wasn't drinking) during the next day or morning.
I know this sounds like one of those infomercials for snake oil, but Vitamin B therapy really worked for me. I talked with my doctor about it and he suggested that I take Vitamin B, made with rice, rather than the chemical equivalency. I took many different vitamins over the years, but found that the best ones for me was always Nutrilite. And second was Nature's Best. I became a Nutrilite distributor which helped cut the costs of these expensive vitamins. But I also found the NB in the super market aisle did a pretty good job too.
As a side note, the garlic tablets from Nutrilite helped keep my cholesterol in check for years and helped clean out my arteries. When I had a catheterization done, the doctor told me he could drive a Mac truck through my veins, they were so clean. He said he hadn't seen many like that.
Just the same, whenever I feel down and depressed to this day, Wendy always asks me if I've taken my B's. And for the most part, I hadn't yet. But with in a short period of time, the Vitamins start kicking in & filling the needs that my body demands. The only odd thing about it, is that my pee is bright yellow from the Vitamin B's. That's about the extent of the side effects.
Vitamins B Complex...it's the way to go to help me stay on an even keel, to sleep soundly and to feel better in the morning after little sleep; when I need to pull only a few hours of sleep.
Another therapy for me has always been a long hug from my wife. I also love hugging other people. I guess I'm just a hugger, if somebody doesn't mind being a huggie! (Not to be confused with throw away diapers!). For some reason, i feel like I get energy from those whom I love and it helps to be in physical contact alot. I have noticed that the longer I go without that contact, the more prone I am to depression outbreaks or panic attacks. When my wife, Wendy, reaches over to comfort me, it helps me relax and I seem to gain a little more control. The only fruistrating thing is that it's not her nature to be that way. So I have to fight this more that I would hope to. I got to figure out how to train her to bemore touchy feelie, if you know what I mean. But after 30 years of marriage, if it hasn't happened by now, I'm not sure that it will. I can only hope. :)
I truly hope this helps anyone who reads this. But I still struggle with depression from time to time. It's just not as severe.
I know I would be susceptible to these extremely low periods in my life. I would try to mask it, and found that I could deal with it as I got busier in life. As I became busier, I wouldn't have time to think or just sit and get this creeping feeling over me. But what I found was that the busier I got,often times, the harder the fall when depression would kick in again.
After studying my family background, I became convinced that my mother's side had/has a chemical imbalance that is hereditary. I have no justification for this belief other than my own observations, conjecture and anecdotal evidence. But for myself, it is enough to believe in and work with.
I read many, many positive thinking books. I got deeper into my faith. But there were still times I felt these feeling of incredible highs and deep lows. Some might call it manic depressive. And the definition of that term surely fits what I was experiencing. But I never went back to counseling, basically because we never could afford it. I never thought there was anything wrong with counseling, because you end up with some great tools, once you can identify your demons.
For me, because I was convinced that there had to be something in our physical makeup, that could only mean a naturally occurring chemical issue. I found that this could be triggered by certain events, or certain "let-down" times, after high stress events or periods. Essentially, my body was using or mis-managing the available chemicals in my body. I decided to get Vitamin therapy. One way I got help was listening to tapes from various Nutrilite distributors and dietitian. What I found really helped me manage the highs and lows of my life. On one of the tapes, I heard the speaker talk about how our bodies will use up much of the vitamin B's in our systems, and that we need to replenish it. Also, Vitamin D was needed. When I started taking Vitamin B Complex, I found that my mood swings weren't as volatile, and I seemed to "even out" in my emotions. Soon I discovered that Vitamin B complex aided me in sleeping, when I took it just before I went to bed. I slept more soundly. And if I ever got too little sleep, taking Vitamin B helped me handle that "hung over" feeling (even tho I wasn't drinking) during the next day or morning.
I know this sounds like one of those infomercials for snake oil, but Vitamin B therapy really worked for me. I talked with my doctor about it and he suggested that I take Vitamin B, made with rice, rather than the chemical equivalency. I took many different vitamins over the years, but found that the best ones for me was always Nutrilite. And second was Nature's Best. I became a Nutrilite distributor which helped cut the costs of these expensive vitamins. But I also found the NB in the super market aisle did a pretty good job too.
As a side note, the garlic tablets from Nutrilite helped keep my cholesterol in check for years and helped clean out my arteries. When I had a catheterization done, the doctor told me he could drive a Mac truck through my veins, they were so clean. He said he hadn't seen many like that.
Just the same, whenever I feel down and depressed to this day, Wendy always asks me if I've taken my B's. And for the most part, I hadn't yet. But with in a short period of time, the Vitamins start kicking in & filling the needs that my body demands. The only odd thing about it, is that my pee is bright yellow from the Vitamin B's. That's about the extent of the side effects.
Vitamins B Complex...it's the way to go to help me stay on an even keel, to sleep soundly and to feel better in the morning after little sleep; when I need to pull only a few hours of sleep.
Another therapy for me has always been a long hug from my wife. I also love hugging other people. I guess I'm just a hugger, if somebody doesn't mind being a huggie! (Not to be confused with throw away diapers!). For some reason, i feel like I get energy from those whom I love and it helps to be in physical contact alot. I have noticed that the longer I go without that contact, the more prone I am to depression outbreaks or panic attacks. When my wife, Wendy, reaches over to comfort me, it helps me relax and I seem to gain a little more control. The only fruistrating thing is that it's not her nature to be that way. So I have to fight this more that I would hope to. I got to figure out how to train her to bemore touchy feelie, if you know what I mean. But after 30 years of marriage, if it hasn't happened by now, I'm not sure that it will. I can only hope. :)
I truly hope this helps anyone who reads this. But I still struggle with depression from time to time. It's just not as severe.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Now that that's out of my system...
Do you ever wish you could eat your words? But it becomes more like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube? Well, my last post was something like that. I'm a little taken back by my own negativity and self pity. But when life makes you look into the mirror, if there aren't instances that can make you humble, then you aren't looking at life through the eyes of reality.
I guess I could say that my life has been full of failures. And quite frankly, I am very thankful for that. I could let it/them freeze me into inactivity, but I continue to move forward, if only at a snail's pace. I have learned every step along the way, and it keeps me vigilant, to a point, of continuing the struggle to stay positive. It's kind of like a compass, where I am motivated to keep pointing in the direction of fulfillment. I may have made a mistake by inviting my old gal, D, to read my blog. I didn't want to embarass her or make her feel put out by the fruits of her and her husband's hard work. And I certainly didn't want her to feel sorry for me. She may even be mad at me. And I could understand that. No one should apologize for reaping the rewards of such long and tedious hours spent on building a business. And certainly, no one should be surprised by the stumbles I have experienced. Both are very common in this great country of ours. I'm just sorry I admitted to doing a little self-comparison. I know full well, that is not a very healthy thing to do. I really am truly grateful, on their behalf to see this sytem work in this country. D and her husband deserve all. And I continue to be a cheerleader for their success.
The one thing I am a little more regretful about is not allowing the word of God to take control of my thoughts during this time of reflection. It made me realize that I need to spend more time in the Word. And study God's principles. I will try to do this better. I can't promise every day. The intentions are there, but I know my history shows other failures to fulfill this wish.
Yes, things are up in the air for me. And I am certainly at a crossroads. It is very tempting to make drastic life changes, especially when you feel that certain elements have gotten you to where you are, and they won't go away or change unless you sttrike them from your life. Certain things are just too precious to do that.
If anything, I need prayers. And I need someone to physically lean on, to hold, to hug and hug back. I pray that those in my life are those who I can rely on.
I will learn from this break down and move forward. The tendencies may still be there, but the movement must be towards the truth and hope.
I guess I could say that my life has been full of failures. And quite frankly, I am very thankful for that. I could let it/them freeze me into inactivity, but I continue to move forward, if only at a snail's pace. I have learned every step along the way, and it keeps me vigilant, to a point, of continuing the struggle to stay positive. It's kind of like a compass, where I am motivated to keep pointing in the direction of fulfillment. I may have made a mistake by inviting my old gal, D, to read my blog. I didn't want to embarass her or make her feel put out by the fruits of her and her husband's hard work. And I certainly didn't want her to feel sorry for me. She may even be mad at me. And I could understand that. No one should apologize for reaping the rewards of such long and tedious hours spent on building a business. And certainly, no one should be surprised by the stumbles I have experienced. Both are very common in this great country of ours. I'm just sorry I admitted to doing a little self-comparison. I know full well, that is not a very healthy thing to do. I really am truly grateful, on their behalf to see this sytem work in this country. D and her husband deserve all. And I continue to be a cheerleader for their success.
The one thing I am a little more regretful about is not allowing the word of God to take control of my thoughts during this time of reflection. It made me realize that I need to spend more time in the Word. And study God's principles. I will try to do this better. I can't promise every day. The intentions are there, but I know my history shows other failures to fulfill this wish.
Yes, things are up in the air for me. And I am certainly at a crossroads. It is very tempting to make drastic life changes, especially when you feel that certain elements have gotten you to where you are, and they won't go away or change unless you sttrike them from your life. Certain things are just too precious to do that.
If anything, I need prayers. And I need someone to physically lean on, to hold, to hug and hug back. I pray that those in my life are those who I can rely on.
I will learn from this break down and move forward. The tendencies may still be there, but the movement must be towards the truth and hope.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Will I ever win?
Alright, it may seem like it's pity party time for me, but I've just gone through a rough weekend of introspection and soul searching. What I found and what I have a tendency to do is compare myself and my successes/failures with others my age. And frankly, I am not happy my myself.
When I got out of school, I went into the travel business, and borrowed money by way of credit cards to fund the operations. When we sold only 7 "beds" out of 700, things went downhill fast. And I folded under threats of lawsuits from police officers whose kids were scheduled to go on the trips we had booked but wanted to cancel. The contract didn't allow for cancellation beyond a certain date and we were way passed that. Just the same, the PO really threatened me if we didn't give him his money back. The problem was, his bed was already booked and paid for. Nothing I could do at that time.
I worked for the telephone company and during my training program, asked the manager of my office who the a**hole was who wouldn't give me time off for my honeymoon. He told me he was that a**hole. That job didn't last long!
I had a few successes in the corporate world, first doubling my salary each year for the first 4 years, working for a finance company, then Blue Cross/Blue Shield. Then somehow, I got in the bad graces of the VP's, coupled with my son's difficult birth where he was administered last rites twice at the hospital. The calls from the hospital came as we were having departmental sales meetings, and pulled me out of these. I lost all focus on my career. And never seemed to get it back until 15 or so years later.
I left BCBSM, when I was alienated by my fellow workers and didn't find a friend to talk to regarding the difficulties I was experiencing at home. I nominated a young guy for an award, as one of the Ten Outstanding Marylanders. He took me to lunch and eventually offered me a position with his company as director of sales. It turns out, he was quite immature and screamed at everyone but me. He even screamed at his mother who never returned to the firm after his outburst. He told his father that I wasn't producing. However, I was covering his backside all the time. I was saving accounts that were in jeopardy of not renewing with us, which took me away from producing new accounts, which was supposed to be my main focus. His father, a state senator, called me into his office and fired me, telling me I couldn't "sell my way out of a paper bag." Crushed, as I was still dealing with issues at home with my disabled son, I did not argue or plead my case. I simply resigned myself instead of sticking up for myself. The company was going through a difficult time shortly thereafter. But one of the last things I did was bring in an account that was later to prove the savior of the business. That company now does in excess of $1 billion in billings, as a result of the spin off of that one account. I never got a nickle from it, and the owner still holds me accountable for a gift/loan of $2500 to fund a new business venture that is next up in my story. He has since "forgiven" the debt, but stipulates that I never paid him back even though I was the one that brought in the one saving account.
I partnered with one of the insurance vendors to provide a service to the insurance brokerage community. It was an enrollment service to help the brokers get deeper into their accounts, offering disability products, paid with pre-tax dollars (savings from 125 plans). After close to two years, one of my other partners calls me into the office to tell me the other partner was gone and had walked off with the entire bank account. He had cleaned us out.
At the time, I had just gotten started in Amway and was doing fairly well. I stopped by my sponsor's house (who was a former NFL player) and broke down, telling him what just took place. I was behind in my mortgage and my car payments, waiting for a large payoff from the sales we had done the month before. And now all that was gone. David (Taylor) asked me what was I doing when I was happiest in life. Perplexed, I answered that when I was putting myself through college, painting houses, things seemed a bit simpler. He told me I needed to get my head through all this and I needed to settle down a bit. He told me he needed his house painted and wrote me a check for $1000 to get started in a couple of days. It was an answer to prayer. And that is how I got started in the painting business.
Throughout this whole time we were building a locally successful Amway business and eventually developed a residual income around $1200/month. No great shakes, but we were proof that it worked. Eventually, all this died out, as we were distracted due to the growth of the painting business.
The painting business successes came and went. It was like a roller coaster ride. One year making $150k, and the next, losing 130K. I was in and out of it several times, starting new ventures and never really settling in on any particular career. Meanwhile the painting biz was just providing some badly needed cash to pay bills. Eventually, after several illnesses sidelined me, I concentrated on the painting business as a career. I joined the PDCA (national trade association) and developed several friends and admired acquaintances. I had a downturn in the business several times over the years and did the following: worked at Sherwin Williams, selling paint in the ghetto (literally taking my life into my own hands, walking up to guys asking if they wanted to start an account at the city store...it was a scary time). Wendy told me she would rather worry about how we were paying our bills, than whether I was going to come home that night from working in my dangerous territory. So I went back into the painting business. I also spent 6-7 months as a sales rep for MAB Paints. The Sales manager was a real trip. Highly ignorant and had the personality of a tar pit.
I became Marketing Director of a small health care firm, that ran out of money due to the threat of the Clinton health care program concept. We had a good idea, but nobody wanted to make commitments due to the uncertainty of the marketplace at the time. So I went back into the painting business.
I always wanted to be in the real estate business, so I went to real estate school and got my license. During that time, my business grew to about $2million per year, in a particularly tough market and I transferred to REMAX. Shortly thereafter, I had a 6 month drought, without any sales and the bills were mounting up. I had had an accident, and a serious heart issue that developed. I was seeing the doctors at Hopkins twice a week. Because it was a seller's market, you had to react quickly to take buyers around on a moment's notice. But because I was preoccpied with my health issues and commitments at the hospital, I wasn't able to participate in working with many buyers. So, I started painting for some of the realtors in the office. And went back into the painting business.
I started to seriously grow the painting business and eventually had my own shop. It was 1000sf, with an office, carpentry shop, screen tables, faux finishing area and classroom. I even had a store room for small supplies that resembled a wall at one of the local stores. I had upto 18 painters at this point, but usually carried 8-12. The economy crashed again, and I was only able to carry 3 guys, most of whom were my most loyal, but also my least productive employees. I eventually closed this shop down. It was a truly sad day when I personally had to take the sign down off the front of the shop. I dabbled, alone in the painting business, but found myself unable to maintain the quality of work I was known for, I was not able to keep up with my own production requirements.
I had the business for sale, but instead worked on an arrangement to consolidate my business with the largest residential painting company around. I also developed a working relationship with a fine organization about an hour away, in Crofton. The Crofton arrangement just didn't work out, and I'm not sure what happened there. I am somewhat suspisciuos that my tourettes was an issue with working with the other sales people there. So, I concentrated on my arrangement with the local painting firm. This arrangement lasted about 1 year and was particularly fun. The economy tanked again, and the leads were reduced to about 10% of what they had been.
I had decided to go back to school to do something that really intrigued me. I had no idea whether I was any good at it, or even if I had a passion for it, but I decidied to go to culinary school since things had quieted down in the economy for the painting business. Meanwhile, some of my old clients wanted me to do some work for them. So,can you guess??? I went back into the painting business. And then was burning the candle at both ends. Running a fulltime painting business during the day and going to school, full time three nights a week. It was exhausting. But fun.
But this time, I tried to build the painting biz with a different set of employees. This didn't work either. This set of employees just were not as reliable, and they were doing extra work for my customers on the side. A BIG no-no. Since my health was in question, I struggled with completing work with incompetent workers, which started to rewrite my reputation.
All the while, I was involved in the PDCA and was elected to serve on the Executive Committee by members of the industry. This was a big step and quite an honor to be recognized as a leader in the industry. But to be truthful, I felt ashamed that my business simply didn't have the success that the other members did. And I really didn't feel worthy to hold that position. My training in the Jaycees, however, had given me the insight and ability to fulfill my duties and develop a strategy to help others. It was a great experience, traveling around the country, meeting some really great people and families.
The combination of finishing my tenure on the PDCA board, running a painting business and going to school was back breaking. The quality of my clients started to slip as I was desperate for work. I began to accept work from the type of people I would avoided in the past. But this time, it came back to bite me. We took 3.5 months to complete a 3week project due to customer issues, weather, supplies, equipment and transportation failures, employee failures, and inability of another contractor to do his work properly. This customer was the absolutely nastiest person I have ever had to deal with under any circumstance. One of my employees wanted to physically harm this customer because of the way she talked to me. I had to physically restrain him from going after her. Two lessons here. 1)Screen your customers and 2)screen your employees!
This customer was the one that took ALL the fun out of my business. Due to a problem with some stained wood, I ended up refunding them the labor portion of the entire job. It left me broken in spirit. Combined with some nasty politics in the PDCA, particularly from a contractor in SC, I lost any passion for the painting business. During my last national convention, one of the contractors who I looked up to and truly admired told me he thought I should close down and just simply get out of the painting business if I wasn't going to be successful in it. This devastated me. And I truly lost heart at that moment. Looking back, I also realized that I never had the support of my wife, except on very RARE and inconsequential times. When I asked her to help me and get involved with the business to help me get a handle on it. She simply did not perform. The realization of her lack of support and encouragement was the clinching nail in the coffin to the business. I had lost hope. I had lost my dreams. I had lost belief in myslef. I had simply lost. It was a very lonely time.
I took the winter off to regroup and concentrate on my culinary studies. I was finding that I didn't have the passion about this like you needed to in order to make a career of it. It was simply another skill I was acquiring. And I had little passion for it. 1/3rd the way through my last semester, I had a skiing accident (broke my femur, and tore my ACL, requiring repair and surgery) that necessitated my quitting school and giving up any hope to continue in the painting business for 1 year.
The recuperation from surgery has been gruelling. I sat for months, working my knee, going to PT, sitting at the computer and getting too active on facebook. I have felt like I've not had a life. I was asked to be the treasurer of a campaign for a guy running for the house of delegates. And I am truly honored by that role. And I was asked to be the Treasurer of the Reagan Republican Club, one of the premier Republican clubs in the state. And for that I am also highly honored. But as for my career. I feel quite unsettled. I do not know what I will do.
I have recently started back up in school. And that, I feel, is a good distraction for the time being. But frankly, I feel like a loser. I had a wonderful time talking with my original girlfriend, someone who I truly admire, and still love. I have been married for 30 years, and she has been married for 25 years. She and her husband had gone through some similar trials as Wendy and I have gone through. But they were in a totally different business. Their business has grown and they have thrived, now reaping the rewards of 20 years of hard work. I am very proud of her and what she has done with her husband. But I can not help but compare what I have, or don't have after 20 years of being self-employed.
I have no savings. I have no value to my business. It is the nature of the industry. The business I had gotten to know competes with other contractors who work on the black market...who aren't legitimate in their operations. The state, now federal, regulations are being stacked against the small contractor, and it is becoming too difficult to re-enter that field. We live in a house owned by my mother-in-law. Granted, we've made incredible improvements to her house to get top dollar for the value when/if we sell it. And the only other asset we have is another house in Parkville, where renters reside.
And I recuperate. It is frustrating to watch others go to work, succeed and flourish, while I am stuck here without any income, other than Wendy's salary, and unable to perform. I long for a good paycheck. I long to succeed. I long to make a difference and provide value to other people. I wish I could get a job to get me back on my feet again. But I know that would be short lived. My tourrettes keep me from holding down a job, as I have become quite disruptive to other people. It is far more advantageous for me to be self-employed...which I love. But the opportunities look like they need to wait until the time is right. In the meantime, I must look into other opportunities...but I still don't know what to do...or in what direction to go.
At times, I don't feel like I have anyone to confide in about this stuff. That's why I'm writing about it here. Perhaps we can figure it out together.
When I got out of school, I went into the travel business, and borrowed money by way of credit cards to fund the operations. When we sold only 7 "beds" out of 700, things went downhill fast. And I folded under threats of lawsuits from police officers whose kids were scheduled to go on the trips we had booked but wanted to cancel. The contract didn't allow for cancellation beyond a certain date and we were way passed that. Just the same, the PO really threatened me if we didn't give him his money back. The problem was, his bed was already booked and paid for. Nothing I could do at that time.
I worked for the telephone company and during my training program, asked the manager of my office who the a**hole was who wouldn't give me time off for my honeymoon. He told me he was that a**hole. That job didn't last long!
I had a few successes in the corporate world, first doubling my salary each year for the first 4 years, working for a finance company, then Blue Cross/Blue Shield. Then somehow, I got in the bad graces of the VP's, coupled with my son's difficult birth where he was administered last rites twice at the hospital. The calls from the hospital came as we were having departmental sales meetings, and pulled me out of these. I lost all focus on my career. And never seemed to get it back until 15 or so years later.
I left BCBSM, when I was alienated by my fellow workers and didn't find a friend to talk to regarding the difficulties I was experiencing at home. I nominated a young guy for an award, as one of the Ten Outstanding Marylanders. He took me to lunch and eventually offered me a position with his company as director of sales. It turns out, he was quite immature and screamed at everyone but me. He even screamed at his mother who never returned to the firm after his outburst. He told his father that I wasn't producing. However, I was covering his backside all the time. I was saving accounts that were in jeopardy of not renewing with us, which took me away from producing new accounts, which was supposed to be my main focus. His father, a state senator, called me into his office and fired me, telling me I couldn't "sell my way out of a paper bag." Crushed, as I was still dealing with issues at home with my disabled son, I did not argue or plead my case. I simply resigned myself instead of sticking up for myself. The company was going through a difficult time shortly thereafter. But one of the last things I did was bring in an account that was later to prove the savior of the business. That company now does in excess of $1 billion in billings, as a result of the spin off of that one account. I never got a nickle from it, and the owner still holds me accountable for a gift/loan of $2500 to fund a new business venture that is next up in my story. He has since "forgiven" the debt, but stipulates that I never paid him back even though I was the one that brought in the one saving account.
I partnered with one of the insurance vendors to provide a service to the insurance brokerage community. It was an enrollment service to help the brokers get deeper into their accounts, offering disability products, paid with pre-tax dollars (savings from 125 plans). After close to two years, one of my other partners calls me into the office to tell me the other partner was gone and had walked off with the entire bank account. He had cleaned us out.
At the time, I had just gotten started in Amway and was doing fairly well. I stopped by my sponsor's house (who was a former NFL player) and broke down, telling him what just took place. I was behind in my mortgage and my car payments, waiting for a large payoff from the sales we had done the month before. And now all that was gone. David (Taylor) asked me what was I doing when I was happiest in life. Perplexed, I answered that when I was putting myself through college, painting houses, things seemed a bit simpler. He told me I needed to get my head through all this and I needed to settle down a bit. He told me he needed his house painted and wrote me a check for $1000 to get started in a couple of days. It was an answer to prayer. And that is how I got started in the painting business.
Throughout this whole time we were building a locally successful Amway business and eventually developed a residual income around $1200/month. No great shakes, but we were proof that it worked. Eventually, all this died out, as we were distracted due to the growth of the painting business.
The painting business successes came and went. It was like a roller coaster ride. One year making $150k, and the next, losing 130K. I was in and out of it several times, starting new ventures and never really settling in on any particular career. Meanwhile the painting biz was just providing some badly needed cash to pay bills. Eventually, after several illnesses sidelined me, I concentrated on the painting business as a career. I joined the PDCA (national trade association) and developed several friends and admired acquaintances. I had a downturn in the business several times over the years and did the following: worked at Sherwin Williams, selling paint in the ghetto (literally taking my life into my own hands, walking up to guys asking if they wanted to start an account at the city store...it was a scary time). Wendy told me she would rather worry about how we were paying our bills, than whether I was going to come home that night from working in my dangerous territory. So I went back into the painting business. I also spent 6-7 months as a sales rep for MAB Paints. The Sales manager was a real trip. Highly ignorant and had the personality of a tar pit.
I became Marketing Director of a small health care firm, that ran out of money due to the threat of the Clinton health care program concept. We had a good idea, but nobody wanted to make commitments due to the uncertainty of the marketplace at the time. So I went back into the painting business.
I always wanted to be in the real estate business, so I went to real estate school and got my license. During that time, my business grew to about $2million per year, in a particularly tough market and I transferred to REMAX. Shortly thereafter, I had a 6 month drought, without any sales and the bills were mounting up. I had had an accident, and a serious heart issue that developed. I was seeing the doctors at Hopkins twice a week. Because it was a seller's market, you had to react quickly to take buyers around on a moment's notice. But because I was preoccpied with my health issues and commitments at the hospital, I wasn't able to participate in working with many buyers. So, I started painting for some of the realtors in the office. And went back into the painting business.
I started to seriously grow the painting business and eventually had my own shop. It was 1000sf, with an office, carpentry shop, screen tables, faux finishing area and classroom. I even had a store room for small supplies that resembled a wall at one of the local stores. I had upto 18 painters at this point, but usually carried 8-12. The economy crashed again, and I was only able to carry 3 guys, most of whom were my most loyal, but also my least productive employees. I eventually closed this shop down. It was a truly sad day when I personally had to take the sign down off the front of the shop. I dabbled, alone in the painting business, but found myself unable to maintain the quality of work I was known for, I was not able to keep up with my own production requirements.
I had the business for sale, but instead worked on an arrangement to consolidate my business with the largest residential painting company around. I also developed a working relationship with a fine organization about an hour away, in Crofton. The Crofton arrangement just didn't work out, and I'm not sure what happened there. I am somewhat suspisciuos that my tourettes was an issue with working with the other sales people there. So, I concentrated on my arrangement with the local painting firm. This arrangement lasted about 1 year and was particularly fun. The economy tanked again, and the leads were reduced to about 10% of what they had been.
I had decided to go back to school to do something that really intrigued me. I had no idea whether I was any good at it, or even if I had a passion for it, but I decidied to go to culinary school since things had quieted down in the economy for the painting business. Meanwhile, some of my old clients wanted me to do some work for them. So,can you guess??? I went back into the painting business. And then was burning the candle at both ends. Running a fulltime painting business during the day and going to school, full time three nights a week. It was exhausting. But fun.
But this time, I tried to build the painting biz with a different set of employees. This didn't work either. This set of employees just were not as reliable, and they were doing extra work for my customers on the side. A BIG no-no. Since my health was in question, I struggled with completing work with incompetent workers, which started to rewrite my reputation.
All the while, I was involved in the PDCA and was elected to serve on the Executive Committee by members of the industry. This was a big step and quite an honor to be recognized as a leader in the industry. But to be truthful, I felt ashamed that my business simply didn't have the success that the other members did. And I really didn't feel worthy to hold that position. My training in the Jaycees, however, had given me the insight and ability to fulfill my duties and develop a strategy to help others. It was a great experience, traveling around the country, meeting some really great people and families.
The combination of finishing my tenure on the PDCA board, running a painting business and going to school was back breaking. The quality of my clients started to slip as I was desperate for work. I began to accept work from the type of people I would avoided in the past. But this time, it came back to bite me. We took 3.5 months to complete a 3week project due to customer issues, weather, supplies, equipment and transportation failures, employee failures, and inability of another contractor to do his work properly. This customer was the absolutely nastiest person I have ever had to deal with under any circumstance. One of my employees wanted to physically harm this customer because of the way she talked to me. I had to physically restrain him from going after her. Two lessons here. 1)Screen your customers and 2)screen your employees!
This customer was the one that took ALL the fun out of my business. Due to a problem with some stained wood, I ended up refunding them the labor portion of the entire job. It left me broken in spirit. Combined with some nasty politics in the PDCA, particularly from a contractor in SC, I lost any passion for the painting business. During my last national convention, one of the contractors who I looked up to and truly admired told me he thought I should close down and just simply get out of the painting business if I wasn't going to be successful in it. This devastated me. And I truly lost heart at that moment. Looking back, I also realized that I never had the support of my wife, except on very RARE and inconsequential times. When I asked her to help me and get involved with the business to help me get a handle on it. She simply did not perform. The realization of her lack of support and encouragement was the clinching nail in the coffin to the business. I had lost hope. I had lost my dreams. I had lost belief in myslef. I had simply lost. It was a very lonely time.
I took the winter off to regroup and concentrate on my culinary studies. I was finding that I didn't have the passion about this like you needed to in order to make a career of it. It was simply another skill I was acquiring. And I had little passion for it. 1/3rd the way through my last semester, I had a skiing accident (broke my femur, and tore my ACL, requiring repair and surgery) that necessitated my quitting school and giving up any hope to continue in the painting business for 1 year.
The recuperation from surgery has been gruelling. I sat for months, working my knee, going to PT, sitting at the computer and getting too active on facebook. I have felt like I've not had a life. I was asked to be the treasurer of a campaign for a guy running for the house of delegates. And I am truly honored by that role. And I was asked to be the Treasurer of the Reagan Republican Club, one of the premier Republican clubs in the state. And for that I am also highly honored. But as for my career. I feel quite unsettled. I do not know what I will do.
I have recently started back up in school. And that, I feel, is a good distraction for the time being. But frankly, I feel like a loser. I had a wonderful time talking with my original girlfriend, someone who I truly admire, and still love. I have been married for 30 years, and she has been married for 25 years. She and her husband had gone through some similar trials as Wendy and I have gone through. But they were in a totally different business. Their business has grown and they have thrived, now reaping the rewards of 20 years of hard work. I am very proud of her and what she has done with her husband. But I can not help but compare what I have, or don't have after 20 years of being self-employed.
I have no savings. I have no value to my business. It is the nature of the industry. The business I had gotten to know competes with other contractors who work on the black market...who aren't legitimate in their operations. The state, now federal, regulations are being stacked against the small contractor, and it is becoming too difficult to re-enter that field. We live in a house owned by my mother-in-law. Granted, we've made incredible improvements to her house to get top dollar for the value when/if we sell it. And the only other asset we have is another house in Parkville, where renters reside.
And I recuperate. It is frustrating to watch others go to work, succeed and flourish, while I am stuck here without any income, other than Wendy's salary, and unable to perform. I long for a good paycheck. I long to succeed. I long to make a difference and provide value to other people. I wish I could get a job to get me back on my feet again. But I know that would be short lived. My tourrettes keep me from holding down a job, as I have become quite disruptive to other people. It is far more advantageous for me to be self-employed...which I love. But the opportunities look like they need to wait until the time is right. In the meantime, I must look into other opportunities...but I still don't know what to do...or in what direction to go.
At times, I don't feel like I have anyone to confide in about this stuff. That's why I'm writing about it here. Perhaps we can figure it out together.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
I remember...
where I was,
at that moment,
on that morning,
on that day;
the sunshine,
the smell in the air,
the radio station I was listening to,
what I was doing when I first heard,
the address,
the pictures on the TV,
the tears,
the fear,
the crying,
the sobbing,
the thinking of family,
of friends, long since seperated from;
the fire, the explosion, the planes;
the people running,
jumping,
coughing,
with hands and cloths over their faces, trying to breath;
the crowds, running,
looking over their shoulders
as the cloud of dust rolls through and over the maze of buildings,
approaching like a wild hungry beast;
the surreal feeling that overtook me as I watched a building collapse,
then another;
thinking, was this a movie? Was this real?
the realization that someone did this,
that someone hated us,
that someone wanted us destroyed;
turning to God, asking for answers,
seeking purpose;
gluing my eyes to the TV
looking for more;
looking next to me as that person was seeing the same thing, experiencing the same feelings, seeking the same answers;
having a common experience with my neighbors, and all I came into contact with;
thinking about my family
my old neighbors,
my old classmates and their families,
asking, were any of them victims in this?
going to church, and the crowds
trying to heal or be healed;
a sense of resolve,
a weird sense of pride in
being an American;
the firemen running, racing,
the police staring up, looking for those to help, trying to make sense;
those who innocently lost,
who fought,
who tried to save;
men in baggy yellow pants, with
wide suspenders,
digging with buckets, looking for people,
the rubble;
the dust;
the steel beams;
the sadness,
the grief,
the pain,
the struggle to heal, to make sense;
9/12.
It's not that I won't forget, it is that I remember...
at that moment,
on that morning,
on that day;
the sunshine,
the smell in the air,
the radio station I was listening to,
what I was doing when I first heard,
the address,
the pictures on the TV,
the tears,
the fear,
the crying,
the sobbing,
the thinking of family,
of friends, long since seperated from;
the fire, the explosion, the planes;
the people running,
jumping,
coughing,
with hands and cloths over their faces, trying to breath;
the crowds, running,
looking over their shoulders
as the cloud of dust rolls through and over the maze of buildings,
approaching like a wild hungry beast;
the surreal feeling that overtook me as I watched a building collapse,
then another;
thinking, was this a movie? Was this real?
the realization that someone did this,
that someone hated us,
that someone wanted us destroyed;
turning to God, asking for answers,
seeking purpose;
gluing my eyes to the TV
looking for more;
looking next to me as that person was seeing the same thing, experiencing the same feelings, seeking the same answers;
having a common experience with my neighbors, and all I came into contact with;
thinking about my family
my old neighbors,
my old classmates and their families,
asking, were any of them victims in this?
going to church, and the crowds
trying to heal or be healed;
a sense of resolve,
a weird sense of pride in
being an American;
the firemen running, racing,
the police staring up, looking for those to help, trying to make sense;
those who innocently lost,
who fought,
who tried to save;
men in baggy yellow pants, with
wide suspenders,
digging with buckets, looking for people,
the rubble;
the dust;
the steel beams;
the sadness,
the grief,
the pain,
the struggle to heal, to make sense;
9/12.
It's not that I won't forget, it is that I remember...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Pine Log President's article
Below is a copy of my article as president of our local community association. I received several cudos for a well written article from a few neighbors.
By now, you should have received a community directory, courtesy of the Board of Governors. This year, the BOG wanted all community members to receive a directory. Previously, only dues paying PVVWCA members received the annual publication. The Board would like to thank all of you who responded by re-joining the association. In addition, thanks to all of you who also came by the dumpster day and renewed your membership. As a reminder, the by-laws require that membership be renewed every October through September, and that dues can not be prorated if late.
In my dues reminder letter, I wrote that the PVVWCA is more than a children’s Fourth of July Parade, a Halloween Parade or Christmas Party and dumpsters for spring clean outs. We are a very active neighborhood association, with many community activists and community and business leaders who live here. We have testified at community hearings, attended other community meetings and have aggressively pursued relationships with our elected officials to ensure a higher quality of life for our neighborhood. But there is more to be done.
In attending GTCC (Greater Timonium Community Council…made up of 50+ other neighborhood associations like ours), we have found that there is a disjointing of the Timonium community that occurred at the last legislative redistricting. Essentially, our beloved Timonium is split between two legislative districts, which occurred due to political malfeasance. In trying to research some issues, I had to talk to our representatives in the House of Delegates in district 11. One of them wasn’t even initially aware that they represented our neighborhood! The rest of Timonium is in Legislative District 42. I bring this up because during the next gubernatorial “reign”, redistricting of legislative district is due to occur. Although, as officers of the PVVWCA, we are prohibited by our by-laws from endorsing candidates or parties, the person in the Governor’s Mansion will determine these districts. It is important to realize this during the process of your voting decision. We have begun to voice our concern that we want to be unified with the rest of the Timonium communities, as we have very few property, zoning and representative issues in common with Owings Mills, Greenspring Valley and Pikesville.
In addition, we have become largely dissatisfied with responses and results of our conversations with any of the current members of the County Council. I personally believe that a complete overhaul and a better balance (between parties) of the County Council is in order, given our experience during the CZMP process that occurred in 2008. Concerns over the rezoning of the Fairgrounds essentially went on deaf ears. This can be a huge issue in the future of property values and quality of life for our community, and I feel it is my duty to provide you with this information and insight. Please also be aware that councilmatic redistricting may also take place, based on the balance of the parties on a new County Council. Please let your friends around the county know this, as it could affect additional zoning issues in the future. Zoning issues essentially affect YOUR property values and quality of life. For the record, we are in Council District 3.
Schools will soon be out and vacations will be on many people’s minds. With burglaries up in the Lutherville area (fortunately not our community), please be vigilant and proactive in preventing and discouraging crime. The Police tell us that unlocked windows and doors are the main entry points for break-ins and house robberies. So keep them locked. Use light timers in the house and have one of your trusted neighbors check in on your home if you will be away for any length of time. Let your neighbor know you will be away so they can keep an extra eye on your property. Please be mindful of unusual activity in the neighborhood, and verify anyone that tells you they are doing home improvement work at your neighbor’s home. That’s just another reason why we all need to stay away from unlicensed contractors and only deal with legitimate, MHIC licensed ones. MHIC licensed
contractors are required to have their vehicles lettered with their license number on them. Question or report them if the vehicles are missing the MHIC numbers.
Living at the entrance to our community, I get to witness a few things that cause me to reflect on the safety of our neighbors. First, I’ve seen and heard several ambulances and fire engines as they travel down Pine Valley Dr and I say a small prayer for the well being of a neighbor. I think of the neighbors who have spent decades here, caring for their families and their homes. I think of those who have retired, those who have moved on and those who have moved in. The ambulances remind me that there are things of far greater value than property values, zoning codes, neighbor disputes, dumpster days and adherence to community covenants. Accidents have happened, spouses, family members and friends have had medical emergencies, and sadly, some have lost their loved ones. The ambulances remind me of the great services we have as residents of this wonderful community; of its close proximity to hospitals, doctors, pharmacies, well constructed roads and highways. Life long friendships, that can potentially span generations, also come to mind. We live in a special neighborhood, with nice people and (hopefully) good neighbors.
I’ve been given advice on developing friends from a mentor who has since passed on. Please allow me tweak it a bit as it relates to being neighborly. “If you want good neighbors, be one yourself, first.”
Be sure to say Hi to your neighbors!
Ken Anderson
President, PVVWCA 2009-2011
By now, you should have received a community directory, courtesy of the Board of Governors. This year, the BOG wanted all community members to receive a directory. Previously, only dues paying PVVWCA members received the annual publication. The Board would like to thank all of you who responded by re-joining the association. In addition, thanks to all of you who also came by the dumpster day and renewed your membership. As a reminder, the by-laws require that membership be renewed every October through September, and that dues can not be prorated if late.
In my dues reminder letter, I wrote that the PVVWCA is more than a children’s Fourth of July Parade, a Halloween Parade or Christmas Party and dumpsters for spring clean outs. We are a very active neighborhood association, with many community activists and community and business leaders who live here. We have testified at community hearings, attended other community meetings and have aggressively pursued relationships with our elected officials to ensure a higher quality of life for our neighborhood. But there is more to be done.
In attending GTCC (Greater Timonium Community Council…made up of 50+ other neighborhood associations like ours), we have found that there is a disjointing of the Timonium community that occurred at the last legislative redistricting. Essentially, our beloved Timonium is split between two legislative districts, which occurred due to political malfeasance. In trying to research some issues, I had to talk to our representatives in the House of Delegates in district 11. One of them wasn’t even initially aware that they represented our neighborhood! The rest of Timonium is in Legislative District 42. I bring this up because during the next gubernatorial “reign”, redistricting of legislative district is due to occur. Although, as officers of the PVVWCA, we are prohibited by our by-laws from endorsing candidates or parties, the person in the Governor’s Mansion will determine these districts. It is important to realize this during the process of your voting decision. We have begun to voice our concern that we want to be unified with the rest of the Timonium communities, as we have very few property, zoning and representative issues in common with Owings Mills, Greenspring Valley and Pikesville.
In addition, we have become largely dissatisfied with responses and results of our conversations with any of the current members of the County Council. I personally believe that a complete overhaul and a better balance (between parties) of the County Council is in order, given our experience during the CZMP process that occurred in 2008. Concerns over the rezoning of the Fairgrounds essentially went on deaf ears. This can be a huge issue in the future of property values and quality of life for our community, and I feel it is my duty to provide you with this information and insight. Please also be aware that councilmatic redistricting may also take place, based on the balance of the parties on a new County Council. Please let your friends around the county know this, as it could affect additional zoning issues in the future. Zoning issues essentially affect YOUR property values and quality of life. For the record, we are in Council District 3.
Schools will soon be out and vacations will be on many people’s minds. With burglaries up in the Lutherville area (fortunately not our community), please be vigilant and proactive in preventing and discouraging crime. The Police tell us that unlocked windows and doors are the main entry points for break-ins and house robberies. So keep them locked. Use light timers in the house and have one of your trusted neighbors check in on your home if you will be away for any length of time. Let your neighbor know you will be away so they can keep an extra eye on your property. Please be mindful of unusual activity in the neighborhood, and verify anyone that tells you they are doing home improvement work at your neighbor’s home. That’s just another reason why we all need to stay away from unlicensed contractors and only deal with legitimate, MHIC licensed ones. MHIC licensed
contractors are required to have their vehicles lettered with their license number on them. Question or report them if the vehicles are missing the MHIC numbers.
Living at the entrance to our community, I get to witness a few things that cause me to reflect on the safety of our neighbors. First, I’ve seen and heard several ambulances and fire engines as they travel down Pine Valley Dr and I say a small prayer for the well being of a neighbor. I think of the neighbors who have spent decades here, caring for their families and their homes. I think of those who have retired, those who have moved on and those who have moved in. The ambulances remind me that there are things of far greater value than property values, zoning codes, neighbor disputes, dumpster days and adherence to community covenants. Accidents have happened, spouses, family members and friends have had medical emergencies, and sadly, some have lost their loved ones. The ambulances remind me of the great services we have as residents of this wonderful community; of its close proximity to hospitals, doctors, pharmacies, well constructed roads and highways. Life long friendships, that can potentially span generations, also come to mind. We live in a special neighborhood, with nice people and (hopefully) good neighbors.
I’ve been given advice on developing friends from a mentor who has since passed on. Please allow me tweak it a bit as it relates to being neighborly. “If you want good neighbors, be one yourself, first.”
Be sure to say Hi to your neighbors!
Ken Anderson
President, PVVWCA 2009-2011
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Thoughts about my Jaycee career
The following is a repost from my Facebook Notes:
Recent news articles and personal and professional experiences have gotten me thinking about the impact the Jaycees have had on my life. It used to be publically honorable and desirable to be in the organization (not that it isn't honorable now, just not as well known). In fact, it was well known that bank execs were often telling their junior execs that if they really want to know how to get a head in the bank and the community, then join the Jaycees. From the Gas & Electric Co to the Telephone Company and the state legislature, the Jaycees were THE PREMIER leadership training organization. I would argue that they still are, if they are taken seriously and the membership grows both numerically and professionally (image wise).
Please allow me to reminisce.
As a Jaycee Chapter President, I took a chapter that had maybe 7-10 people out of 45 coming to meetings and resulted in a 60 member chapter, with 100% retention for the year and 25-30 people coming to meetings and getting involved. My RD, at the time, Ken Rich, was instrumental in encouraging me to continue in my JC career and he made a huge impact on my life as an encourager, as was my District director, Ken Moretz from Havre de Grace.
Later, I took a Region that had been losing ground for 12 years and got it turned around with growth for the first time, being acknowledged as Region Director of the year. I helped start several new chapters and recruited well over150 Jaycees in my career as acknowledged by my plaques and awards (somebody else counted them, not me...). I was up for a national award as one of the top ten Regional Directors in the US. Part of the unwritten rule was those who show up to the national convention get the award, those who don't, won't. At the risk or threat of losing my job for going to the convention, I felt that the award represented the entire region's volunteer work, commitment and efforts for the year, and not just mine. So I went to the convention to represent the work of rejuvenated Jaycees of Baltimore City, Baltimore County, Harford and Cecil County. It turns out that we didn't receive the award and it was a struggle for the US JC Pres to make that decision. But my decision to go cost me my job, if not my career in the insurance business. Do I regret it? No, not on your life. It was one of those difficult, gut wrenching decisions that had to be made. After all, I was representing a large community. This was in the day when almost everything we did as Jaycees was in the local newspapers. It was as if we were assigned our own reporters (I truly think a few reporters were actually members). Many, many thanks to the outstanding District Directors at that time: Dave Bopst, Len Chapel, Steve Einig.
Actually, a different Jaycee decision is the one that cost me my job. My boss was a Maryland State Senator at the time. We had some serious employee issues and a mandatory meeting to go to. Meanwhile I had received an invitation to go to the White House as a guest of Ronald Reagan. I decided to go to Washington DC and forego the company required meeting. At that time, it was unheard of for a 33 yr old to be invited to the WH. It was an experience of a lifetime, and a decision, although fatal for my career, was one I do not regret. I want to thank Jim Warren and Ed Stanley for getting me on that list.
I learned a valuable lesson back then. Region 4 had been worked on for years under the excellent leadership of Ken Rich and Jim France immediately preceeding my year as RD. They worked tirelessly at unifying and encouraging chapters and people in the region. At the first quarter board meeting in my year, all the other regions were kicking our behinds in just about every facet. But Bill, from Reisterstown, started cheering all the other region winners. Soon we began our cheering and eventually became the loudest cheering section for every award with "Hooray for them, Hooray for them..." The next quarter we won our first growth award and we continued to cheer for other region winners. When somebody from our region won an award, we went nutz! By the end of the year, we had significant growth and won "the Cup" for our enthusiasm. I have it to this day. We learned the power of developing unity, strength and energy can start by simply taking your eyes off yourself and cheering for the other person. Thanks for the valuable lesson, Bill.
I grew tremendously during my tenure as a Jaycee. I remember going to a Towson JC meeting and having to stand up and tell people my name. I was scared to death to do this...speak in front of other people! I was 23-24-25 at the time. I borrowed an old seer sucker suit from my father to go to the meetings. It was in the day where everybody at least wore a coat and tie (which I didn't own at the time). I volunteered for projects at the prompting of my friend, John Smyth. And took the direction he gave me as best I could. I was awarded the SPARKPLUG of the year for the Towson JCs, and I didn't even know what it was or how I got it! (Basically, rookie of the year within the chapter...about 200 members at that time). I started and ran an Individual Development project, the Baltimore County Prayer Breakfast, which continued for close to 25 years. And it received a national award. I saw a need in my community, and recognized that the Jaycees had a lot of energy and a systematic approach to running projects, so I approached them about the Prayer Breakfast, and it became a success. The first year, we had 450 people in attendance and drew out former US Senator Danny Brewster as our featured speaker. He told a story about rising to power in the US, then falling from grace, embarrassingly getting drunk and unruly in the White House, and how to live with his past, and seek forgiveness with God.
I had very little confidence in myself those years. It took growing up in the Jaycees for me to gain confidence (some might say cockiness) in myself and my abilities. One of the top recognition awards I received was being one of the Ten Outstanding Young Marylanders of 1988, awarded by the Governor. This organization was a lot of work, but I enjoyed it. I was asked to be the Executive VP under Lou Wanex. I really cherished this role. But I always preached having balance in your life. My youngest son, Danny, was born with Downs Syndrome, a major heart defect and had been in intensive care for 3+ months! I HAD to attend to my family needs and resigned my post as EVP. There were several JCs who either didn't understand or were too gung ho about the organization, that I received bitter criticism for my resignation. And for some odd reason, I was tagged with the label of being a quitter in certain circles. Nobody seemed to remember the accomplishments or the lives we affected during those years. I regret their remembrance of me in this light.
As I immersed myself into my family and career, I began to have one bad career experience after another. It wasn't until I had been painting for a while that I ran into another old JC who was promoting involvement in the PDCA, the Painting and Decorating Contractors of America. I saw him at a booth at a Pro-Show at a Duron Paint store. While everyone was dressed in whites, he was the only one dressed in a coat and tie. Needless to say, he stood out. Mike Miller encouraged me, much like John Smyth, to get involved in the PDCA. But since I had been working out of my family vehicle and was unlicensed, I didn't have the confidence or money to join. I went to a meeting and was introduced to several other contractors. Most of them were commercial contractors. In fact only two other people were residential painting contractors. I found out I was grossly under pricing my services and didn't understand how to develop my price. It took a while, but I researched my expenses and reconfigured my prices to what I really needed as a business. It took me 9 months to finally join, since I didn't have enough money to afford the dues at the time. I learned about business from my friends in the PDCA, while finding the Jaycee influence all around me in the organization. Both Mike Miller (former Md Jaycee EVP) and Bruce Hall (former Md Jaycee State Pres) were in leadership positions and influencing PDCA in ways I understood.
I eventually returned to the Jaycees after finding out that my good friend and school pal, Jim France, was going to be the next Md JC President. I offered him my help and he took me up on it! I had been gone from the organization for several years and there were only a few people left from "my glory days" in the organization. And they were happy to see me back. Jim was the Region Director immediately prior to my RD success, and I must acknowledge that it was he and Ken Rich who set me up for success that year. I felt I owed Jim a lot. He told me he needed someone to become the State Community Development VP. I agreed after some apprehensions that nobody knew me or who I was. Working with Jim was a real pleasure. It was great seeing the old Jaycees and getting back in the swing of things. One thing bothered me, however. And that was the fact that recruiting new members became an embarrassment and nobody seemed to know how to do it. There actually were apologies from one particular former state president for concentrating on membership drives. So membership became almost a dirty phrase and nobody seemed to notice. It seemed like the old Jaycees way had died. And I can almost pin-point it on a few individuals and their ill-forsaken influence.
One of the things I noticed while and when I was outside the world of Jaycees was that the world just didn't notice them as much, nor did they give them as much credence as a leadership training organization. There was a time when I walked into the state house in Annapolis with my daughter's grade school class trip, that the Governor, the Attorney General and several delegates and senators were former Jaycees. In fact it was almost embarrassing as I was walking with my daughter's class to have several of them say hi to me by name. Now, you have to explain to the same group of legislators who the Jaycees are. The current status of the Jaycees as a recognizable force in leadership development is appalling to me. My training tought me to believe, "If it's gonna be, it's up to me." And this particular time, I took it upon myself to promote the Jaycees where ever I went. I thought it curious that not many former Jaycees (those who "rooster out" at the age of 40) ever touted the value of their Jaycee involvement and training. But I was not going to be one of those people. I am proud of the influence the JCs have had on me and my growth and maturity. I have promoted the Jaycees at BNI presentations, Chamber Presentations, PDCA training and speeches I have given through out this country.
Within the PDCA, I went on the eventually become the Sr VP of the PDCA nationally, one of the 5 officers on the Executive Committee, using my Jaycee experience to its fullest. I continued to promote concepts they had in developing leaders, and organizing chapters and promoting involvement. Perhaps these techniques are outdated, but I have continued to promote these Jaycee precepts as workable concepts. I used my Jaycee experience in helping to develop, understand and communicate new by-laws for the PDCA. I used real back-room negotiating techniques and concepts I learned in the Jaycees on getting the by-laws to pass. And I used the speaking techniques learned in the Jaycees to give speeches through out the country, at various council conventions. I also have been able to see, with clear vision, the path that an organization must take to be effective and growing. I have continued to use and actively promote the Jaycees where ever I go.
I have already been down the street from death (not necessarily at its door step) with being on the transplant list for a new heart. And I have, by the grace of God, recovered and gotten off that list through new medical break throughs. I have reflected on my life and seen that although I was a Jaycee from the age of 24-40, I continue to be a Jaycee in spirit, realizing that we must all move on from that organization to have an impact on the rest of the world. To be awarded a JCI Senatorship would be the ultimate honor to hold from the organization I so dearly love and endear myself to. But there is no more Bel Air Jaycee chapter or Region 4 in existence. And while I understand that by admitting the desire of this honor, may, by itself appear to be less than honorable, the deep desire to be one remains. There have been far more people who have far lesser JC accomplishments and continued promotional impact who are JCI Senators; I feel cheap by admitting this. So please forgive me. I remain imperfect, ready for new developments and personal growth.
I am excited that this year, 2009, they are seeing growth in the organization. And I would hope that all other organizations out there would recognize the impact trained Jaycees have. From proper project management skills, to public speaking skills, to community contacts, the Jaycees should be a more recognized organization than they are. I only wish the alumni of the organization would speak up and promote them. I believe they are a factor in the rebuilding of this country and the economy.
I truly wish that I could demand that my kids join the Jaycees for experience, fun and personal growth. My father said that he "grew up" and matured in the Army. I say that I "grew up" and matured in the Jaycees.
Recent news articles and personal and professional experiences have gotten me thinking about the impact the Jaycees have had on my life. It used to be publically honorable and desirable to be in the organization (not that it isn't honorable now, just not as well known). In fact, it was well known that bank execs were often telling their junior execs that if they really want to know how to get a head in the bank and the community, then join the Jaycees. From the Gas & Electric Co to the Telephone Company and the state legislature, the Jaycees were THE PREMIER leadership training organization. I would argue that they still are, if they are taken seriously and the membership grows both numerically and professionally (image wise).
Please allow me to reminisce.
As a Jaycee Chapter President, I took a chapter that had maybe 7-10 people out of 45 coming to meetings and resulted in a 60 member chapter, with 100% retention for the year and 25-30 people coming to meetings and getting involved. My RD, at the time, Ken Rich, was instrumental in encouraging me to continue in my JC career and he made a huge impact on my life as an encourager, as was my District director, Ken Moretz from Havre de Grace.
Later, I took a Region that had been losing ground for 12 years and got it turned around with growth for the first time, being acknowledged as Region Director of the year. I helped start several new chapters and recruited well over150 Jaycees in my career as acknowledged by my plaques and awards (somebody else counted them, not me...). I was up for a national award as one of the top ten Regional Directors in the US. Part of the unwritten rule was those who show up to the national convention get the award, those who don't, won't. At the risk or threat of losing my job for going to the convention, I felt that the award represented the entire region's volunteer work, commitment and efforts for the year, and not just mine. So I went to the convention to represent the work of rejuvenated Jaycees of Baltimore City, Baltimore County, Harford and Cecil County. It turns out that we didn't receive the award and it was a struggle for the US JC Pres to make that decision. But my decision to go cost me my job, if not my career in the insurance business. Do I regret it? No, not on your life. It was one of those difficult, gut wrenching decisions that had to be made. After all, I was representing a large community. This was in the day when almost everything we did as Jaycees was in the local newspapers. It was as if we were assigned our own reporters (I truly think a few reporters were actually members). Many, many thanks to the outstanding District Directors at that time: Dave Bopst, Len Chapel, Steve Einig.
Actually, a different Jaycee decision is the one that cost me my job. My boss was a Maryland State Senator at the time. We had some serious employee issues and a mandatory meeting to go to. Meanwhile I had received an invitation to go to the White House as a guest of Ronald Reagan. I decided to go to Washington DC and forego the company required meeting. At that time, it was unheard of for a 33 yr old to be invited to the WH. It was an experience of a lifetime, and a decision, although fatal for my career, was one I do not regret. I want to thank Jim Warren and Ed Stanley for getting me on that list.
I learned a valuable lesson back then. Region 4 had been worked on for years under the excellent leadership of Ken Rich and Jim France immediately preceeding my year as RD. They worked tirelessly at unifying and encouraging chapters and people in the region. At the first quarter board meeting in my year, all the other regions were kicking our behinds in just about every facet. But Bill, from Reisterstown, started cheering all the other region winners. Soon we began our cheering and eventually became the loudest cheering section for every award with "Hooray for them, Hooray for them..." The next quarter we won our first growth award and we continued to cheer for other region winners. When somebody from our region won an award, we went nutz! By the end of the year, we had significant growth and won "the Cup" for our enthusiasm. I have it to this day. We learned the power of developing unity, strength and energy can start by simply taking your eyes off yourself and cheering for the other person. Thanks for the valuable lesson, Bill.
I grew tremendously during my tenure as a Jaycee. I remember going to a Towson JC meeting and having to stand up and tell people my name. I was scared to death to do this...speak in front of other people! I was 23-24-25 at the time. I borrowed an old seer sucker suit from my father to go to the meetings. It was in the day where everybody at least wore a coat and tie (which I didn't own at the time). I volunteered for projects at the prompting of my friend, John Smyth. And took the direction he gave me as best I could. I was awarded the SPARKPLUG of the year for the Towson JCs, and I didn't even know what it was or how I got it! (Basically, rookie of the year within the chapter...about 200 members at that time). I started and ran an Individual Development project, the Baltimore County Prayer Breakfast, which continued for close to 25 years. And it received a national award. I saw a need in my community, and recognized that the Jaycees had a lot of energy and a systematic approach to running projects, so I approached them about the Prayer Breakfast, and it became a success. The first year, we had 450 people in attendance and drew out former US Senator Danny Brewster as our featured speaker. He told a story about rising to power in the US, then falling from grace, embarrassingly getting drunk and unruly in the White House, and how to live with his past, and seek forgiveness with God.
I had very little confidence in myself those years. It took growing up in the Jaycees for me to gain confidence (some might say cockiness) in myself and my abilities. One of the top recognition awards I received was being one of the Ten Outstanding Young Marylanders of 1988, awarded by the Governor. This organization was a lot of work, but I enjoyed it. I was asked to be the Executive VP under Lou Wanex. I really cherished this role. But I always preached having balance in your life. My youngest son, Danny, was born with Downs Syndrome, a major heart defect and had been in intensive care for 3+ months! I HAD to attend to my family needs and resigned my post as EVP. There were several JCs who either didn't understand or were too gung ho about the organization, that I received bitter criticism for my resignation. And for some odd reason, I was tagged with the label of being a quitter in certain circles. Nobody seemed to remember the accomplishments or the lives we affected during those years. I regret their remembrance of me in this light.
As I immersed myself into my family and career, I began to have one bad career experience after another. It wasn't until I had been painting for a while that I ran into another old JC who was promoting involvement in the PDCA, the Painting and Decorating Contractors of America. I saw him at a booth at a Pro-Show at a Duron Paint store. While everyone was dressed in whites, he was the only one dressed in a coat and tie. Needless to say, he stood out. Mike Miller encouraged me, much like John Smyth, to get involved in the PDCA. But since I had been working out of my family vehicle and was unlicensed, I didn't have the confidence or money to join. I went to a meeting and was introduced to several other contractors. Most of them were commercial contractors. In fact only two other people were residential painting contractors. I found out I was grossly under pricing my services and didn't understand how to develop my price. It took a while, but I researched my expenses and reconfigured my prices to what I really needed as a business. It took me 9 months to finally join, since I didn't have enough money to afford the dues at the time. I learned about business from my friends in the PDCA, while finding the Jaycee influence all around me in the organization. Both Mike Miller (former Md Jaycee EVP) and Bruce Hall (former Md Jaycee State Pres) were in leadership positions and influencing PDCA in ways I understood.
I eventually returned to the Jaycees after finding out that my good friend and school pal, Jim France, was going to be the next Md JC President. I offered him my help and he took me up on it! I had been gone from the organization for several years and there were only a few people left from "my glory days" in the organization. And they were happy to see me back. Jim was the Region Director immediately prior to my RD success, and I must acknowledge that it was he and Ken Rich who set me up for success that year. I felt I owed Jim a lot. He told me he needed someone to become the State Community Development VP. I agreed after some apprehensions that nobody knew me or who I was. Working with Jim was a real pleasure. It was great seeing the old Jaycees and getting back in the swing of things. One thing bothered me, however. And that was the fact that recruiting new members became an embarrassment and nobody seemed to know how to do it. There actually were apologies from one particular former state president for concentrating on membership drives. So membership became almost a dirty phrase and nobody seemed to notice. It seemed like the old Jaycees way had died. And I can almost pin-point it on a few individuals and their ill-forsaken influence.
One of the things I noticed while and when I was outside the world of Jaycees was that the world just didn't notice them as much, nor did they give them as much credence as a leadership training organization. There was a time when I walked into the state house in Annapolis with my daughter's grade school class trip, that the Governor, the Attorney General and several delegates and senators were former Jaycees. In fact it was almost embarrassing as I was walking with my daughter's class to have several of them say hi to me by name. Now, you have to explain to the same group of legislators who the Jaycees are. The current status of the Jaycees as a recognizable force in leadership development is appalling to me. My training tought me to believe, "If it's gonna be, it's up to me." And this particular time, I took it upon myself to promote the Jaycees where ever I went. I thought it curious that not many former Jaycees (those who "rooster out" at the age of 40) ever touted the value of their Jaycee involvement and training. But I was not going to be one of those people. I am proud of the influence the JCs have had on me and my growth and maturity. I have promoted the Jaycees at BNI presentations, Chamber Presentations, PDCA training and speeches I have given through out this country.
Within the PDCA, I went on the eventually become the Sr VP of the PDCA nationally, one of the 5 officers on the Executive Committee, using my Jaycee experience to its fullest. I continued to promote concepts they had in developing leaders, and organizing chapters and promoting involvement. Perhaps these techniques are outdated, but I have continued to promote these Jaycee precepts as workable concepts. I used my Jaycee experience in helping to develop, understand and communicate new by-laws for the PDCA. I used real back-room negotiating techniques and concepts I learned in the Jaycees on getting the by-laws to pass. And I used the speaking techniques learned in the Jaycees to give speeches through out the country, at various council conventions. I also have been able to see, with clear vision, the path that an organization must take to be effective and growing. I have continued to use and actively promote the Jaycees where ever I go.
I have already been down the street from death (not necessarily at its door step) with being on the transplant list for a new heart. And I have, by the grace of God, recovered and gotten off that list through new medical break throughs. I have reflected on my life and seen that although I was a Jaycee from the age of 24-40, I continue to be a Jaycee in spirit, realizing that we must all move on from that organization to have an impact on the rest of the world. To be awarded a JCI Senatorship would be the ultimate honor to hold from the organization I so dearly love and endear myself to. But there is no more Bel Air Jaycee chapter or Region 4 in existence. And while I understand that by admitting the desire of this honor, may, by itself appear to be less than honorable, the deep desire to be one remains. There have been far more people who have far lesser JC accomplishments and continued promotional impact who are JCI Senators; I feel cheap by admitting this. So please forgive me. I remain imperfect, ready for new developments and personal growth.
I am excited that this year, 2009, they are seeing growth in the organization. And I would hope that all other organizations out there would recognize the impact trained Jaycees have. From proper project management skills, to public speaking skills, to community contacts, the Jaycees should be a more recognized organization than they are. I only wish the alumni of the organization would speak up and promote them. I believe they are a factor in the rebuilding of this country and the economy.
I truly wish that I could demand that my kids join the Jaycees for experience, fun and personal growth. My father said that he "grew up" and matured in the Army. I say that I "grew up" and matured in the Jaycees.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Being part of something big gives 'Extreme' volunteers plenty of energy despite little sleep
Here's what I've been working on for the last week. Just recruiting painting contractors to start Thursday night at 10pm through the morning.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Pearl of Africa: July 11th - Kampala Bombing
The Pearl of Africa: July 11th - Kampala Bombing
I pray for the people in Uganda and all those who are there to win hearts to Christ as missionaries.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
I'm tired just thinking about it
Somehow, I got myself into helping out the recruitment of painting contractors for the ABC show, Extreme Home Makeover, being filmed here in Baltimore this week.
I've been on the phone calling contractors to fill a need of another 20-25 painters needed for Monday might between 7pm and 9am, Tuesday. I'm getting a little older and not sure how I can handle this schedule. I recently painted a tavern in Fells Point and did the graveyard shift that that gig. It was brutal and each day cost me a total of three. One to get ready, one during the actual day, and one to recuperate.
Couple this with being Treasurer of a political campaign for Tom Morgan, who is running for Maryland House of Delegates, District 5B;added to being Treasurer of the Reagan Republican Club;
added to being President of the Pine Vally-Valleywood Community Association;
active in Republican circles;
all while recovering from surgery and preparing to re-enter culinary school (this time going during the day from September through December);
all the while trying to redefine my career and do some painting jobs to bring in a little cash.
Also taking care of my mother-in-law, who is close to being bed ridden; and maintaining two houses...
is all a little bit overwhelming when I list it all out.
And sometimes I think I don't have enough to do!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Mobile Grilled Cheese Truck Gains Success in LA - QSR Magazine
I've been looking for a way to get into the food business, given my experience in culinary school. Actually, this is something I would love to do! If I only had the money and backing to get started.
Mobile Grilled Cheese Truck gains success in LA - QSR Magazine
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Apologies aren't over-rated
They are simply Under-used.
Over the last few days, I have witnessed opportunities for apologies to be made.
Just yesterday, I decided to take the first step and apologize to my dad for my outburst. I figured since I had been out of commission for close to 4 months while I recuperate, my thresh-hold for understanding and patience had reached it's limit. Or, I should say collapsed.
It took several days, but to be honest, I was really sorry for the strain this episode took on our relationship. I had often taught that you shouldn't let the sun go down on an argument, especially with the ones you love. It would be appropriate if I took my own advice. Even if a few days late.
I came to the realization that it wasn't important who was right, or who was wrong; who was hurt, or what was said. The important thing that really happened was that the first step towards healing this relationship was made.
It was easier sending an email to him than call. Sometimes, people can get a chance to chew on your words (and preserve them for later digestion) when they are written down. Within a few hours, my dad sent back an email accepting my apology, and apologized himself.
We want to mend the relationship. We want to move forward. We want to encourage each other, even though we might not understand the paths we have taken or chosen.
Life isn't perfect, and neither are we. So why do we keep this impression that other people have to be perfect in the way they treat us, in the way they react to us, or in the way they act? Why are we entitled to make judgments about other people when we are solely responsible for our own actions and attitudes?
You'd think I'd learn this by now, and that I would perfectly practice this concept. After all, I've had plenty of practice.
I have heard some one say that "love is not having to say your sorry." I TOTALLY disagree. And say that LOVE is willing to say you are sorry, regardless of the facts.
Over the last few days, I have witnessed opportunities for apologies to be made.
Just yesterday, I decided to take the first step and apologize to my dad for my outburst. I figured since I had been out of commission for close to 4 months while I recuperate, my thresh-hold for understanding and patience had reached it's limit. Or, I should say collapsed.
It took several days, but to be honest, I was really sorry for the strain this episode took on our relationship. I had often taught that you shouldn't let the sun go down on an argument, especially with the ones you love. It would be appropriate if I took my own advice. Even if a few days late.I came to the realization that it wasn't important who was right, or who was wrong; who was hurt, or what was said. The important thing that really happened was that the first step towards healing this relationship was made.
It was easier sending an email to him than call. Sometimes, people can get a chance to chew on your words (and preserve them for later digestion) when they are written down. Within a few hours, my dad sent back an email accepting my apology, and apologized himself.
We want to mend the relationship. We want to move forward. We want to encourage each other, even though we might not understand the paths we have taken or chosen.
Life isn't perfect, and neither are we. So why do we keep this impression that other people have to be perfect in the way they treat us, in the way they react to us, or in the way they act? Why are we entitled to make judgments about other people when we are solely responsible for our own actions and attitudes?
You'd think I'd learn this by now, and that I would perfectly practice this concept. After all, I've had plenty of practice.
I have heard some one say that "love is not having to say your sorry." I TOTALLY disagree. And say that LOVE is willing to say you are sorry, regardless of the facts.
Monday, June 28, 2010
This ain't your sand box painting company
About 17 years ago, my sister called my wife (Wendy) and made the comment that she felt sorry for me in the fact that I now had to paint houses. She didn't understand why I didn't get the gene that allowed me to make a better living or do better in my career.
That attitude caused a rift between me and my sister which I have since forgiven her for, although she remains unapologetic about her own attitude.
I concede that the painting industry was rife with downtrodden alcoholics and drug addicts. And unfortunately, it had that reputation. But I strongly argue that what makes you "professional" is not WHAT you do, but THE WAY YOU DO IT!
Many of these contractors are from multiple generation companies, and strive to bring top-notch, professional personal service to their clients. They are not your "station wagon bandit" variety painters. Nor are they the type to short cut the laws of their local areas. They are top professionals.
I have seen first class customer service programs, cutting edge employee morale programs, high tech systems approaches to the administration of their businesses. Many are on the cutting edge of technology, among the first to use, develop and sell estimating software. One of the leaders in our industry, Nolan Painting...just outside of Philadelphia, was once ranked as one of the best companies to work for in the whole state of PA! Of ALL companies! This company became an employee-owned one. A leader in thought of corporate structure in the construction field. Did I mention that this was a house painting company? Not a large industrial or commercial contractor? They are to be admired for constantly staying on top of issues in the industry.
And there's Joel Hamburg from Portland area who is leading the cause of being a "green" painting contracting. From processes to actual products being applied. He is a leader in the environmental front.
Rick Holtz swore he didn't want anything to do with the painting business (H.J. Holtz and Son, Inc. ) his father (Dick) inherited from the grandfather. I knew Dick as one of the kindest southern gentlemen (from Richmond) I had ever met. He was running his second generation painting business out of his laundry room. Once his son Rick got the corporate bug out of his system, he returned to his roots and took over the family business. He grew it to where they ran the business out of a commercial property, a former ice cream plant. They even had a sophisticated spray booth, perfect for those problematic wooden shutters, iron furniture and other items.
Alas. The time for me to close down my business, Anderson's Famous Painting Co has come. In the midst of trying to reinvent my business, I had a skiing accident. The accident caused me to to re-evaluate my priorities and my talents, abilities and passions. I am glad it happened. And I feel blessed to have met some of the finest people, families and business owners on the face of this earth. What I will miss the most, is not the painting or the changing of the color of walls. But I will miss the camaraderie and fellowship I found through the PDCA.
I am glad my sister's cutting remarks motivated me to seek out a better way to do things.
Margaret, you got it wrong.
Professionalism isn't WHAT you do...it's the WAY you do what you do.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
What does it mean to be a conservative?
This question was asked by the moderator of a page I am a fan of. Here is my answer (with a few additions). Please feel free to add your own or comment.
A conservative is one who believes that:
Government should be of laws, rather than of men.
Government should be giving a hand up, not a hand out.
Government should not be doling out more than it takes in.
Laws should stand on their own merit, not negotiated away with special add-on favors.
Identifying, agreeing with and maintaining the philosophies of the founding fathers, using THEIR words, not ours or interpretations
Equal treatment means equal treatment. But definitions should not be twisted to incorporate new concepts that favor special interest groups.
Dedicated to the concept that the money the government takes in still belongs to the people, NOT the government.
That the government is the STEWARD of our money, taken through taxes. And that the government should be held accountable for the quality of that stewardship.
Taxes should only be taken to meet minimum sustenance requirements of basic infrastructure needs. And prudent planning for disaster relief should be subject to budgetary constraints.
You spend less than what you take in, give back the excess or put it away for a rainy day.
Economic justice can best be won by free men through free enterprise.
That the only things that should not be tolerated is evil, injustice and limiting freedoms.
Personal freedoms are sacrosanct so long as they are not immoral or illegal.
Humanistic liberties are subordinate to principles defining what is right and what is wrong.
That the concept of "social justice" is a worthy cause, but has been errantly twisted to incorporate government programs under the guise of moral achievements.
Government can not achieve moral superiority through programs, laws or regulations.
Social justice can best be achieved through individuals taking an active part in helping their neighbors only, and not by depending on government programs.
All rights are given to us by our creator and NOT by our government.
Our greatest institution is the traditional family, and not any other organization, movement or government
Defending our way of life and our freedoms is a responsibility, an honor and an expectation.
Defending freedom and democracy should start, end and be maintained vigilantly within our country first. And that prescence of our military forces in other countries should be maintained for the sole purpose of combatting threats to our nation
That each individual life should be held in the highest regard from point of conception until a natural death.
Faith in God gives meaning and purpose to human life
A conservative is one who believes that:
Government should be of laws, rather than of men.
Government should be giving a hand up, not a hand out.
Government should not be doling out more than it takes in.
Laws should stand on their own merit, not negotiated away with special add-on favors.
Identifying, agreeing with and maintaining the philosophies of the founding fathers, using THEIR words, not ours or interpretations
Equal treatment means equal treatment. But definitions should not be twisted to incorporate new concepts that favor special interest groups.
Dedicated to the concept that the money the government takes in still belongs to the people, NOT the government.
That the government is the STEWARD of our money, taken through taxes. And that the government should be held accountable for the quality of that stewardship.
Taxes should only be taken to meet minimum sustenance requirements of basic infrastructure needs. And prudent planning for disaster relief should be subject to budgetary constraints.
You spend less than what you take in, give back the excess or put it away for a rainy day.
Economic justice can best be won by free men through free enterprise.
That the only things that should not be tolerated is evil, injustice and limiting freedoms.
Personal freedoms are sacrosanct so long as they are not immoral or illegal.
Humanistic liberties are subordinate to principles defining what is right and what is wrong.
That the concept of "social justice" is a worthy cause, but has been errantly twisted to incorporate government programs under the guise of moral achievements.
Government can not achieve moral superiority through programs, laws or regulations.
Social justice can best be achieved through individuals taking an active part in helping their neighbors only, and not by depending on government programs.
All rights are given to us by our creator and NOT by our government.
Our greatest institution is the traditional family, and not any other organization, movement or government
Defending our way of life and our freedoms is a responsibility, an honor and an expectation.
Defending freedom and democracy should start, end and be maintained vigilantly within our country first. And that prescence of our military forces in other countries should be maintained for the sole purpose of combatting threats to our nation
That each individual life should be held in the highest regard from point of conception until a natural death.
Faith in God gives meaning and purpose to human life
When things seem tough
I can really kick myself sometimes.
When I think I am having a painful time, all I have to do is remember the whippings and the torturous lashings Jesus endured. He did no wrong. But He took on this punishment on my behalf (and yours). Sometimes some of the dumb things I do, I deserve the lashings. But he took them for me. And for that I am grateful. It was/is His gift for all of us. All we have to do is accept that gift. I did. And it made all the difference.
Does He still feel the nails, every time I fail?
Does He still feel the nails, every time I fail?
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Behind the brush, for a short time
Since I have been anxious to get back to work, I decided to give it a shot.
First, walking up the stairs to the third floor of the house from the basement was a little tedious. But my knee felt good. I was able to put weight on my left leg as I climbed the stairs. Going down was another story. I had to climb those stairs 5 times in a 2 hour period, and boy, did I feel good about it! I love seeing progress, day by day with this injury.
But being behind the brush is what this is really about. I had some minor touch ups to do and it was a little weird working with the brushes and rollers. It was like an old friend who you felt comfortable with. I am still set on not coming back to this trade, but it felt really comfortable working the cut lines and feathering out those touch ups.
This customer gives me my own paint shop, and one of the last things I was doing before my accident was painting and organizing the paint shop. If all customers were like these people, and treated me and our trade with respect, I might consider staying in it. But there are just too many jerks as customers and unlicensed contractors that make for unfair competition. Frankly, I have had enough of the condition of our marketplace and "competition". Although I have told I am really good at what I do, I don't "feel" it. I'm burned out...at least that's what I've been telling myself for the last few months.
I've been getting some calls from other customers who want me to do some more work. It's funny, because these customers are the ones where I had gotten back in the field after running crews for several years. And I didn't think I still had it in me then.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Mt. Anderson, an active volcano
When my dad told me he wasn't able to come over for a cookout on Father's Day because he had already committed to going over to my step-sister's, I blew a cork! And that's putting it mildly!
There was something in his response to me that simply set me off. I don't think I have ever gotten so angry (and hurt) in my life.
My response the next day was bad. I mean REALLY bad. Its as if I were a 15 year old all over again. I was angry with him, my step mom, and my step -sister. The only person not in the way of my wrath was my step mom.
After I've cooled down, I realized there was probably a lot of pent up frustrations in there that hadn't been dealt with. Coupled with being frustrated for being out of work and not able to work due to my knee injury and recovery from ACL surgery, feeling useless, worthless, and not very spiritually minded or Christ-centered, I just unloaded a lot of bad stuff.
Right now, I know I had scathing words for my dad, words I've never used, and certainly wouldn't use towards him. What causes us to be an ass sometimes? I know I was/am guilty.
I know that time heals many wounds, but I said some really bad things, to the point he may not forgive me. I, a 52 year old man, am saying this about my 79 yr old father. I hope there is time enough to mend this relationship. Even though many of the things I said were true, and even though he believes I was making things up (I wasn't, as my wife will attest), and even tho I believe he needed to hear some truths...I wonder. Did he really NEED to hear them? At this age? With his relatively new wife? Why couldn't I just let it lie?
BAM! The gloves simply came off. Old wounds, scars ripped open, salt being poured into every crevice. It was painful. I am sure on both sides.
Dad, I am sorry. I know you are heading up to NJ for your grand kids graduation. I hope that you remain safe and that we can talk things out when you get back.
Now if I could only muster the courage to talk to him in person or send him an email that would be apologetic, but neutral. I'll have to pray on this.
There was something in his response to me that simply set me off. I don't think I have ever gotten so angry (and hurt) in my life.
My response the next day was bad. I mean REALLY bad. Its as if I were a 15 year old all over again. I was angry with him, my step mom, and my step -sister. The only person not in the way of my wrath was my step mom.
After I've cooled down, I realized there was probably a lot of pent up frustrations in there that hadn't been dealt with. Coupled with being frustrated for being out of work and not able to work due to my knee injury and recovery from ACL surgery, feeling useless, worthless, and not very spiritually minded or Christ-centered, I just unloaded a lot of bad stuff.
Right now, I know I had scathing words for my dad, words I've never used, and certainly wouldn't use towards him. What causes us to be an ass sometimes? I know I was/am guilty.
I know that time heals many wounds, but I said some really bad things, to the point he may not forgive me. I, a 52 year old man, am saying this about my 79 yr old father. I hope there is time enough to mend this relationship. Even though many of the things I said were true, and even though he believes I was making things up (I wasn't, as my wife will attest), and even tho I believe he needed to hear some truths...I wonder. Did he really NEED to hear them? At this age? With his relatively new wife? Why couldn't I just let it lie?
BAM! The gloves simply came off. Old wounds, scars ripped open, salt being poured into every crevice. It was painful. I am sure on both sides.
Dad, I am sorry. I know you are heading up to NJ for your grand kids graduation. I hope that you remain safe and that we can talk things out when you get back.
Now if I could only muster the courage to talk to him in person or send him an email that would be apologetic, but neutral. I'll have to pray on this.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Fixing what's broken
I remember sitting so engrossed in the debate on by-laws of the PDCA. They had been debating these things for the last several years, and quite frankly, it was rather upsetting to see the quagmire they were in. It would be easy to say there was incompetency on the Executive Committee's part and on the part of the President, because the argument tended to get stuck on grounds they weren't willing or able to get off of.
Having had extensive training and experience in the Jaycees, I was seeing clearly what the problem was. Why didn't others see the same thing? I also saw a way around the problems, but didn't feel like I had the PDCA experience or respect to speak up. Even though the annual convention meetings were getting uglier as the years went by, I felt compelled to speak up, finally.
I was encouraged to approach the nominating committee to express my thoughts and ideas on changing the structure and culture of the organization. A past president, Ed Travis, encouraged me to approach them with the stipulation that I wanted to present my ideas, but wasn't interested in a position that year. Well, I did get to present my ideas, and I was surprised when my name was brought forward as a candidate for the Executive Committee. A little surpised, a little shocked, I accepted and was immediately voted in at the convention.
It took a while to get familiar with the culture of the EC, but we eventually got to a place where a plan could be hatched out to deal with the conflicting passions of the board members and the need to make changes. I saw an opportunity to define one particular item as a deal breaker, and jumped on it. I pushed and pushed, knowing full well that this particular issue would not be accepted. But we finally got agreement that if this particular remaining issue were withdrawn, the by-law changes could move forward.
An agreement was made between the forums to withdraw the issue, as it really didn't affect their ability to perform. Once the agreement was made, the by-laws passed and the log jamb disintegrated. History in the 124 year old organization was made. And the new PDCA was about to be unleashed.
I am proud to have been a part of this change. And it is specifically exciting to see my initial vision of that change take place. I feel like I had done my part. Even though I will never be recognized for my contribution, it is personally gratifying to see that happen. And I don't particularly want recognition for the backroom deals and discussions. My job was done. And I was happy to retire from the PDCA on top. There are still many people who don't understand what happened. And there are some who still don't think I have the (PDCA) experience for leadership. That's OK with me. I don't feel like I don't have to prove myself. I just see a problem that needs to get fixed and I fix it.
Next...the Maryland Republican party.
Having had extensive training and experience in the Jaycees, I was seeing clearly what the problem was. Why didn't others see the same thing? I also saw a way around the problems, but didn't feel like I had the PDCA experience or respect to speak up. Even though the annual convention meetings were getting uglier as the years went by, I felt compelled to speak up, finally.
It took a while to get familiar with the culture of the EC, but we eventually got to a place where a plan could be hatched out to deal with the conflicting passions of the board members and the need to make changes. I saw an opportunity to define one particular item as a deal breaker, and jumped on it. I pushed and pushed, knowing full well that this particular issue would not be accepted. But we finally got agreement that if this particular remaining issue were withdrawn, the by-law changes could move forward. 
I am proud to have been a part of this change. And it is specifically exciting to see my initial vision of that change take place. I feel like I had done my part. Even though I will never be recognized for my contribution, it is personally gratifying to see that happen. And I don't particularly want recognition for the backroom deals and discussions. My job was done. And I was happy to retire from the PDCA on top. There are still many people who don't understand what happened. And there are some who still don't think I have the (PDCA) experience for leadership. That's OK with me. I don't feel like I don't have to prove myself. I just see a problem that needs to get fixed and I fix it.
Next...the Maryland Republican party.
Everybody has to have a first
And here it is.
My first blog entry. I have no idea where this is going to lead me or what will become of these prose.
Isn't that what you're supposed to say for your first blog attempt?
You may find me sputtering about a grandiose self image, trying to build myself up (unimpressing most readers...if any), arguing the validity of my thoughts, and stretching the boundaries of psychological health.
What scares me most about this, honestly, is the possible discovery that I am, in fact, a wimp. That the whiny nature of my genes will permeate these entries and cause you to lose faith. And that I, myself, will lose faith.
But this is an attempt at documenting my life, my thoughts, my whiny ancestral nature (you've gotta blame somebody!) (see, I started already!), my faith, beliefs, facts, experiences, wishes, desires and disappointments.
I struggle in my faith in God and Jesus Christ, although I rest on having given a commitment. Going from a faith on fire to a cold rock, dropped in a bottomless lake with seemingly no chance of recovery. I doubt the strength of my inner fidelity, although, thankfully, nothing has manifested itself in actions of infidelity. I love my wife from the bottom of my heart. I owe her more than I can explain. Something I will probably write about as the days progress. I am proud of my kids, but their actions and lifestyles often make me question what I did or how I performed as a parent. Often it is with pride and deep satisfaction. And sometimes it is with hurts and disappointments. Not so much in them, but in myself.
I am incredibly introspective, as I assume most bloggers would be. And there are times, when the "O'Brien" comes out of me and I get incredibly accusational. Cutting words and accusations for those around me seem to be a generational curse, possibly a learned response in dealing with life's difficulties. I can anger easily when tipped on my emotional response side of the dice.
And all the while, I also am known to be a positive person. When I am called this, it surprises me. And I am left to think, "How did you get fooled?" But then again, every now and then, I can find a positive gem to extract from life. I studied positive thinking and read many books. Its a shame I have to work at being a positive person, with a positive outlook.
I am mesmerized by intellectuals. And occasionally (ONLY OCCASIONALLY) can I keep up with them verbally. I am often surprised to be able to keep up mentally, through active listening and introspection. My vocabulary is more limited than I would like. But I assume that it is because I don't exercise my brain by reading as often as I should.
Speaking about exercising, I am way over weight and tip the scales close to 325. How the heck did I let myself get there??? I have to admit I haven't weighed myself for a few months, and am frankly afraid to do that. Perhaps you will witness my physical transformation. I can only hope and pray...and change...
Well here goes...(press *publish post*)...*GULP*
My first blog entry. I have no idea where this is going to lead me or what will become of these prose.
Isn't that what you're supposed to say for your first blog attempt?
You may find me sputtering about a grandiose self image, trying to build myself up (unimpressing most readers...if any), arguing the validity of my thoughts, and stretching the boundaries of psychological health.
What scares me most about this, honestly, is the possible discovery that I am, in fact, a wimp. That the whiny nature of my genes will permeate these entries and cause you to lose faith. And that I, myself, will lose faith.
But this is an attempt at documenting my life, my thoughts, my whiny ancestral nature (you've gotta blame somebody!) (see, I started already!), my faith, beliefs, facts, experiences, wishes, desires and disappointments.
I struggle in my faith in God and Jesus Christ, although I rest on having given a commitment. Going from a faith on fire to a cold rock, dropped in a bottomless lake with seemingly no chance of recovery. I doubt the strength of my inner fidelity, although, thankfully, nothing has manifested itself in actions of infidelity. I love my wife from the bottom of my heart. I owe her more than I can explain. Something I will probably write about as the days progress. I am proud of my kids, but their actions and lifestyles often make me question what I did or how I performed as a parent. Often it is with pride and deep satisfaction. And sometimes it is with hurts and disappointments. Not so much in them, but in myself.
I am incredibly introspective, as I assume most bloggers would be. And there are times, when the "O'Brien" comes out of me and I get incredibly accusational. Cutting words and accusations for those around me seem to be a generational curse, possibly a learned response in dealing with life's difficulties. I can anger easily when tipped on my emotional response side of the dice.
And all the while, I also am known to be a positive person. When I am called this, it surprises me. And I am left to think, "How did you get fooled?" But then again, every now and then, I can find a positive gem to extract from life. I studied positive thinking and read many books. Its a shame I have to work at being a positive person, with a positive outlook.
I am mesmerized by intellectuals. And occasionally (ONLY OCCASIONALLY) can I keep up with them verbally. I am often surprised to be able to keep up mentally, through active listening and introspection. My vocabulary is more limited than I would like. But I assume that it is because I don't exercise my brain by reading as often as I should.
Speaking about exercising, I am way over weight and tip the scales close to 325. How the heck did I let myself get there??? I have to admit I haven't weighed myself for a few months, and am frankly afraid to do that. Perhaps you will witness my physical transformation. I can only hope and pray...and change...
Well here goes...(press *publish post*)...*GULP*
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