Many people don't know or realize that I battle deep seated depression. It's plagued me all my life. I've had the fortune of getting professional counseling when I was in High School, but mostly because of my inability to relate to people and to withdraw. I learned a lot of techniques in dealing with people, and became somewhat used to sticking my hand out to greet people. It became a way of fighting or overcoming my fear of people and situations. But I still had these feelings of doubt and low self-esteem. It was actually due to my Tourrettes, which manifested itself a little later on in life. I'll write about how I found out I had TS in some other post. But for now, about battling the demons of depression.
I know I would be susceptible to these extremely low periods in my life. I would try to mask it, and found that I could deal with it as I got busier in life. As I became busier, I wouldn't have time to think or just sit and get this creeping feeling over me. But what I found was that the busier I got,often times, the harder the fall when depression would kick in again.
After studying my family background, I became convinced that my mother's side had/has a chemical imbalance that is hereditary. I have no justification for this belief other than my own observations, conjecture and anecdotal evidence. But for myself, it is enough to believe in and work with.
I read many, many positive thinking books. I got deeper into my faith. But there were still times I felt these feeling of incredible highs and deep lows. Some might call it manic depressive. And the definition of that term surely fits what I was experiencing. But I never went back to counseling, basically because we never could afford it. I never thought there was anything wrong with counseling, because you end up with some great tools, once you can identify your demons.
For me, because I was convinced that there had to be something in our physical makeup, that could only mean a naturally occurring chemical issue. I found that this could be triggered by certain events, or certain "let-down" times, after high stress events or periods. Essentially, my body was using or mis-managing the available chemicals in my body. I decided to get Vitamin therapy. One way I got help was listening to tapes from various Nutrilite distributors and dietitian. What I found really helped me manage the highs and lows of my life. On one of the tapes, I heard the speaker talk about how our bodies will use up much of the vitamin B's in our systems, and that we need to replenish it. Also, Vitamin D was needed. When I started taking Vitamin B Complex, I found that my mood swings weren't as volatile, and I seemed to "even out" in my emotions. Soon I discovered that Vitamin B complex aided me in sleeping, when I took it just before I went to bed. I slept more soundly. And if I ever got too little sleep, taking Vitamin B helped me handle that "hung over" feeling (even tho I wasn't drinking) during the next day or morning.
I know this sounds like one of those infomercials for snake oil, but Vitamin B therapy really worked for me. I talked with my doctor about it and he suggested that I take Vitamin B, made with rice, rather than the chemical equivalency. I took many different vitamins over the years, but found that the best ones for me was always Nutrilite. And second was Nature's Best. I became a Nutrilite distributor which helped cut the costs of these expensive vitamins. But I also found the NB in the super market aisle did a pretty good job too.
As a side note, the garlic tablets from Nutrilite helped keep my cholesterol in check for years and helped clean out my arteries. When I had a catheterization done, the doctor told me he could drive a Mac truck through my veins, they were so clean. He said he hadn't seen many like that.
Just the same, whenever I feel down and depressed to this day, Wendy always asks me if I've taken my B's. And for the most part, I hadn't yet. But with in a short period of time, the Vitamins start kicking in & filling the needs that my body demands. The only odd thing about it, is that my pee is bright yellow from the Vitamin B's. That's about the extent of the side effects.
Vitamins B Complex...it's the way to go to help me stay on an even keel, to sleep soundly and to feel better in the morning after little sleep; when I need to pull only a few hours of sleep.
Another therapy for me has always been a long hug from my wife. I also love hugging other people. I guess I'm just a hugger, if somebody doesn't mind being a huggie! (Not to be confused with throw away diapers!). For some reason, i feel like I get energy from those whom I love and it helps to be in physical contact alot. I have noticed that the longer I go without that contact, the more prone I am to depression outbreaks or panic attacks. When my wife, Wendy, reaches over to comfort me, it helps me relax and I seem to gain a little more control. The only fruistrating thing is that it's not her nature to be that way. So I have to fight this more that I would hope to. I got to figure out how to train her to bemore touchy feelie, if you know what I mean. But after 30 years of marriage, if it hasn't happened by now, I'm not sure that it will. I can only hope. :)
I truly hope this helps anyone who reads this. But I still struggle with depression from time to time. It's just not as severe.
