Do you ever wish you could eat your words? But it becomes more like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube? Well, my last post was something like that. I'm a little taken back by my own negativity and self pity. But when life makes you look into the mirror, if there aren't instances that can make you humble, then you aren't looking at life through the eyes of reality.
I guess I could say that my life has been full of failures. And quite frankly, I am very thankful for that. I could let it/them freeze me into inactivity, but I continue to move forward, if only at a snail's pace. I have learned every step along the way, and it keeps me vigilant, to a point, of continuing the struggle to stay positive. It's kind of like a compass, where I am motivated to keep pointing in the direction of fulfillment. I may have made a mistake by inviting my old gal, D, to read my blog. I didn't want to embarass her or make her feel put out by the fruits of her and her husband's hard work. And I certainly didn't want her to feel sorry for me. She may even be mad at me. And I could understand that. No one should apologize for reaping the rewards of such long and tedious hours spent on building a business. And certainly, no one should be surprised by the stumbles I have experienced. Both are very common in this great country of ours. I'm just sorry I admitted to doing a little self-comparison. I know full well, that is not a very healthy thing to do. I really am truly grateful, on their behalf to see this sytem work in this country. D and her husband deserve all. And I continue to be a cheerleader for their success.
The one thing I am a little more regretful about is not allowing the word of God to take control of my thoughts during this time of reflection. It made me realize that I need to spend more time in the Word. And study God's principles. I will try to do this better. I can't promise every day. The intentions are there, but I know my history shows other failures to fulfill this wish.
Yes, things are up in the air for me. And I am certainly at a crossroads. It is very tempting to make drastic life changes, especially when you feel that certain elements have gotten you to where you are, and they won't go away or change unless you sttrike them from your life. Certain things are just too precious to do that.
If anything, I need prayers. And I need someone to physically lean on, to hold, to hug and hug back. I pray that those in my life are those who I can rely on.
I will learn from this break down and move forward. The tendencies may still be there, but the movement must be towards the truth and hope.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Will I ever win?
Alright, it may seem like it's pity party time for me, but I've just gone through a rough weekend of introspection and soul searching. What I found and what I have a tendency to do is compare myself and my successes/failures with others my age. And frankly, I am not happy my myself.
When I got out of school, I went into the travel business, and borrowed money by way of credit cards to fund the operations. When we sold only 7 "beds" out of 700, things went downhill fast. And I folded under threats of lawsuits from police officers whose kids were scheduled to go on the trips we had booked but wanted to cancel. The contract didn't allow for cancellation beyond a certain date and we were way passed that. Just the same, the PO really threatened me if we didn't give him his money back. The problem was, his bed was already booked and paid for. Nothing I could do at that time.
I worked for the telephone company and during my training program, asked the manager of my office who the a**hole was who wouldn't give me time off for my honeymoon. He told me he was that a**hole. That job didn't last long!
I had a few successes in the corporate world, first doubling my salary each year for the first 4 years, working for a finance company, then Blue Cross/Blue Shield. Then somehow, I got in the bad graces of the VP's, coupled with my son's difficult birth where he was administered last rites twice at the hospital. The calls from the hospital came as we were having departmental sales meetings, and pulled me out of these. I lost all focus on my career. And never seemed to get it back until 15 or so years later.
I left BCBSM, when I was alienated by my fellow workers and didn't find a friend to talk to regarding the difficulties I was experiencing at home. I nominated a young guy for an award, as one of the Ten Outstanding Marylanders. He took me to lunch and eventually offered me a position with his company as director of sales. It turns out, he was quite immature and screamed at everyone but me. He even screamed at his mother who never returned to the firm after his outburst. He told his father that I wasn't producing. However, I was covering his backside all the time. I was saving accounts that were in jeopardy of not renewing with us, which took me away from producing new accounts, which was supposed to be my main focus. His father, a state senator, called me into his office and fired me, telling me I couldn't "sell my way out of a paper bag." Crushed, as I was still dealing with issues at home with my disabled son, I did not argue or plead my case. I simply resigned myself instead of sticking up for myself. The company was going through a difficult time shortly thereafter. But one of the last things I did was bring in an account that was later to prove the savior of the business. That company now does in excess of $1 billion in billings, as a result of the spin off of that one account. I never got a nickle from it, and the owner still holds me accountable for a gift/loan of $2500 to fund a new business venture that is next up in my story. He has since "forgiven" the debt, but stipulates that I never paid him back even though I was the one that brought in the one saving account.
I partnered with one of the insurance vendors to provide a service to the insurance brokerage community. It was an enrollment service to help the brokers get deeper into their accounts, offering disability products, paid with pre-tax dollars (savings from 125 plans). After close to two years, one of my other partners calls me into the office to tell me the other partner was gone and had walked off with the entire bank account. He had cleaned us out.
At the time, I had just gotten started in Amway and was doing fairly well. I stopped by my sponsor's house (who was a former NFL player) and broke down, telling him what just took place. I was behind in my mortgage and my car payments, waiting for a large payoff from the sales we had done the month before. And now all that was gone. David (Taylor) asked me what was I doing when I was happiest in life. Perplexed, I answered that when I was putting myself through college, painting houses, things seemed a bit simpler. He told me I needed to get my head through all this and I needed to settle down a bit. He told me he needed his house painted and wrote me a check for $1000 to get started in a couple of days. It was an answer to prayer. And that is how I got started in the painting business.
Throughout this whole time we were building a locally successful Amway business and eventually developed a residual income around $1200/month. No great shakes, but we were proof that it worked. Eventually, all this died out, as we were distracted due to the growth of the painting business.
The painting business successes came and went. It was like a roller coaster ride. One year making $150k, and the next, losing 130K. I was in and out of it several times, starting new ventures and never really settling in on any particular career. Meanwhile the painting biz was just providing some badly needed cash to pay bills. Eventually, after several illnesses sidelined me, I concentrated on the painting business as a career. I joined the PDCA (national trade association) and developed several friends and admired acquaintances. I had a downturn in the business several times over the years and did the following: worked at Sherwin Williams, selling paint in the ghetto (literally taking my life into my own hands, walking up to guys asking if they wanted to start an account at the city store...it was a scary time). Wendy told me she would rather worry about how we were paying our bills, than whether I was going to come home that night from working in my dangerous territory. So I went back into the painting business. I also spent 6-7 months as a sales rep for MAB Paints. The Sales manager was a real trip. Highly ignorant and had the personality of a tar pit.
I became Marketing Director of a small health care firm, that ran out of money due to the threat of the Clinton health care program concept. We had a good idea, but nobody wanted to make commitments due to the uncertainty of the marketplace at the time. So I went back into the painting business.
I always wanted to be in the real estate business, so I went to real estate school and got my license. During that time, my business grew to about $2million per year, in a particularly tough market and I transferred to REMAX. Shortly thereafter, I had a 6 month drought, without any sales and the bills were mounting up. I had had an accident, and a serious heart issue that developed. I was seeing the doctors at Hopkins twice a week. Because it was a seller's market, you had to react quickly to take buyers around on a moment's notice. But because I was preoccpied with my health issues and commitments at the hospital, I wasn't able to participate in working with many buyers. So, I started painting for some of the realtors in the office. And went back into the painting business.
I started to seriously grow the painting business and eventually had my own shop. It was 1000sf, with an office, carpentry shop, screen tables, faux finishing area and classroom. I even had a store room for small supplies that resembled a wall at one of the local stores. I had upto 18 painters at this point, but usually carried 8-12. The economy crashed again, and I was only able to carry 3 guys, most of whom were my most loyal, but also my least productive employees. I eventually closed this shop down. It was a truly sad day when I personally had to take the sign down off the front of the shop. I dabbled, alone in the painting business, but found myself unable to maintain the quality of work I was known for, I was not able to keep up with my own production requirements.
I had the business for sale, but instead worked on an arrangement to consolidate my business with the largest residential painting company around. I also developed a working relationship with a fine organization about an hour away, in Crofton. The Crofton arrangement just didn't work out, and I'm not sure what happened there. I am somewhat suspisciuos that my tourettes was an issue with working with the other sales people there. So, I concentrated on my arrangement with the local painting firm. This arrangement lasted about 1 year and was particularly fun. The economy tanked again, and the leads were reduced to about 10% of what they had been.
I had decided to go back to school to do something that really intrigued me. I had no idea whether I was any good at it, or even if I had a passion for it, but I decidied to go to culinary school since things had quieted down in the economy for the painting business. Meanwhile, some of my old clients wanted me to do some work for them. So,can you guess??? I went back into the painting business. And then was burning the candle at both ends. Running a fulltime painting business during the day and going to school, full time three nights a week. It was exhausting. But fun.
But this time, I tried to build the painting biz with a different set of employees. This didn't work either. This set of employees just were not as reliable, and they were doing extra work for my customers on the side. A BIG no-no. Since my health was in question, I struggled with completing work with incompetent workers, which started to rewrite my reputation.
All the while, I was involved in the PDCA and was elected to serve on the Executive Committee by members of the industry. This was a big step and quite an honor to be recognized as a leader in the industry. But to be truthful, I felt ashamed that my business simply didn't have the success that the other members did. And I really didn't feel worthy to hold that position. My training in the Jaycees, however, had given me the insight and ability to fulfill my duties and develop a strategy to help others. It was a great experience, traveling around the country, meeting some really great people and families.
The combination of finishing my tenure on the PDCA board, running a painting business and going to school was back breaking. The quality of my clients started to slip as I was desperate for work. I began to accept work from the type of people I would avoided in the past. But this time, it came back to bite me. We took 3.5 months to complete a 3week project due to customer issues, weather, supplies, equipment and transportation failures, employee failures, and inability of another contractor to do his work properly. This customer was the absolutely nastiest person I have ever had to deal with under any circumstance. One of my employees wanted to physically harm this customer because of the way she talked to me. I had to physically restrain him from going after her. Two lessons here. 1)Screen your customers and 2)screen your employees!
This customer was the one that took ALL the fun out of my business. Due to a problem with some stained wood, I ended up refunding them the labor portion of the entire job. It left me broken in spirit. Combined with some nasty politics in the PDCA, particularly from a contractor in SC, I lost any passion for the painting business. During my last national convention, one of the contractors who I looked up to and truly admired told me he thought I should close down and just simply get out of the painting business if I wasn't going to be successful in it. This devastated me. And I truly lost heart at that moment. Looking back, I also realized that I never had the support of my wife, except on very RARE and inconsequential times. When I asked her to help me and get involved with the business to help me get a handle on it. She simply did not perform. The realization of her lack of support and encouragement was the clinching nail in the coffin to the business. I had lost hope. I had lost my dreams. I had lost belief in myslef. I had simply lost. It was a very lonely time.
I took the winter off to regroup and concentrate on my culinary studies. I was finding that I didn't have the passion about this like you needed to in order to make a career of it. It was simply another skill I was acquiring. And I had little passion for it. 1/3rd the way through my last semester, I had a skiing accident (broke my femur, and tore my ACL, requiring repair and surgery) that necessitated my quitting school and giving up any hope to continue in the painting business for 1 year.
The recuperation from surgery has been gruelling. I sat for months, working my knee, going to PT, sitting at the computer and getting too active on facebook. I have felt like I've not had a life. I was asked to be the treasurer of a campaign for a guy running for the house of delegates. And I am truly honored by that role. And I was asked to be the Treasurer of the Reagan Republican Club, one of the premier Republican clubs in the state. And for that I am also highly honored. But as for my career. I feel quite unsettled. I do not know what I will do.
I have recently started back up in school. And that, I feel, is a good distraction for the time being. But frankly, I feel like a loser. I had a wonderful time talking with my original girlfriend, someone who I truly admire, and still love. I have been married for 30 years, and she has been married for 25 years. She and her husband had gone through some similar trials as Wendy and I have gone through. But they were in a totally different business. Their business has grown and they have thrived, now reaping the rewards of 20 years of hard work. I am very proud of her and what she has done with her husband. But I can not help but compare what I have, or don't have after 20 years of being self-employed.
I have no savings. I have no value to my business. It is the nature of the industry. The business I had gotten to know competes with other contractors who work on the black market...who aren't legitimate in their operations. The state, now federal, regulations are being stacked against the small contractor, and it is becoming too difficult to re-enter that field. We live in a house owned by my mother-in-law. Granted, we've made incredible improvements to her house to get top dollar for the value when/if we sell it. And the only other asset we have is another house in Parkville, where renters reside.
And I recuperate. It is frustrating to watch others go to work, succeed and flourish, while I am stuck here without any income, other than Wendy's salary, and unable to perform. I long for a good paycheck. I long to succeed. I long to make a difference and provide value to other people. I wish I could get a job to get me back on my feet again. But I know that would be short lived. My tourrettes keep me from holding down a job, as I have become quite disruptive to other people. It is far more advantageous for me to be self-employed...which I love. But the opportunities look like they need to wait until the time is right. In the meantime, I must look into other opportunities...but I still don't know what to do...or in what direction to go.
At times, I don't feel like I have anyone to confide in about this stuff. That's why I'm writing about it here. Perhaps we can figure it out together.
When I got out of school, I went into the travel business, and borrowed money by way of credit cards to fund the operations. When we sold only 7 "beds" out of 700, things went downhill fast. And I folded under threats of lawsuits from police officers whose kids were scheduled to go on the trips we had booked but wanted to cancel. The contract didn't allow for cancellation beyond a certain date and we were way passed that. Just the same, the PO really threatened me if we didn't give him his money back. The problem was, his bed was already booked and paid for. Nothing I could do at that time.
I worked for the telephone company and during my training program, asked the manager of my office who the a**hole was who wouldn't give me time off for my honeymoon. He told me he was that a**hole. That job didn't last long!
I had a few successes in the corporate world, first doubling my salary each year for the first 4 years, working for a finance company, then Blue Cross/Blue Shield. Then somehow, I got in the bad graces of the VP's, coupled with my son's difficult birth where he was administered last rites twice at the hospital. The calls from the hospital came as we were having departmental sales meetings, and pulled me out of these. I lost all focus on my career. And never seemed to get it back until 15 or so years later.
I left BCBSM, when I was alienated by my fellow workers and didn't find a friend to talk to regarding the difficulties I was experiencing at home. I nominated a young guy for an award, as one of the Ten Outstanding Marylanders. He took me to lunch and eventually offered me a position with his company as director of sales. It turns out, he was quite immature and screamed at everyone but me. He even screamed at his mother who never returned to the firm after his outburst. He told his father that I wasn't producing. However, I was covering his backside all the time. I was saving accounts that were in jeopardy of not renewing with us, which took me away from producing new accounts, which was supposed to be my main focus. His father, a state senator, called me into his office and fired me, telling me I couldn't "sell my way out of a paper bag." Crushed, as I was still dealing with issues at home with my disabled son, I did not argue or plead my case. I simply resigned myself instead of sticking up for myself. The company was going through a difficult time shortly thereafter. But one of the last things I did was bring in an account that was later to prove the savior of the business. That company now does in excess of $1 billion in billings, as a result of the spin off of that one account. I never got a nickle from it, and the owner still holds me accountable for a gift/loan of $2500 to fund a new business venture that is next up in my story. He has since "forgiven" the debt, but stipulates that I never paid him back even though I was the one that brought in the one saving account.
I partnered with one of the insurance vendors to provide a service to the insurance brokerage community. It was an enrollment service to help the brokers get deeper into their accounts, offering disability products, paid with pre-tax dollars (savings from 125 plans). After close to two years, one of my other partners calls me into the office to tell me the other partner was gone and had walked off with the entire bank account. He had cleaned us out.
At the time, I had just gotten started in Amway and was doing fairly well. I stopped by my sponsor's house (who was a former NFL player) and broke down, telling him what just took place. I was behind in my mortgage and my car payments, waiting for a large payoff from the sales we had done the month before. And now all that was gone. David (Taylor) asked me what was I doing when I was happiest in life. Perplexed, I answered that when I was putting myself through college, painting houses, things seemed a bit simpler. He told me I needed to get my head through all this and I needed to settle down a bit. He told me he needed his house painted and wrote me a check for $1000 to get started in a couple of days. It was an answer to prayer. And that is how I got started in the painting business.
Throughout this whole time we were building a locally successful Amway business and eventually developed a residual income around $1200/month. No great shakes, but we were proof that it worked. Eventually, all this died out, as we were distracted due to the growth of the painting business.
The painting business successes came and went. It was like a roller coaster ride. One year making $150k, and the next, losing 130K. I was in and out of it several times, starting new ventures and never really settling in on any particular career. Meanwhile the painting biz was just providing some badly needed cash to pay bills. Eventually, after several illnesses sidelined me, I concentrated on the painting business as a career. I joined the PDCA (national trade association) and developed several friends and admired acquaintances. I had a downturn in the business several times over the years and did the following: worked at Sherwin Williams, selling paint in the ghetto (literally taking my life into my own hands, walking up to guys asking if they wanted to start an account at the city store...it was a scary time). Wendy told me she would rather worry about how we were paying our bills, than whether I was going to come home that night from working in my dangerous territory. So I went back into the painting business. I also spent 6-7 months as a sales rep for MAB Paints. The Sales manager was a real trip. Highly ignorant and had the personality of a tar pit.
I became Marketing Director of a small health care firm, that ran out of money due to the threat of the Clinton health care program concept. We had a good idea, but nobody wanted to make commitments due to the uncertainty of the marketplace at the time. So I went back into the painting business.
I always wanted to be in the real estate business, so I went to real estate school and got my license. During that time, my business grew to about $2million per year, in a particularly tough market and I transferred to REMAX. Shortly thereafter, I had a 6 month drought, without any sales and the bills were mounting up. I had had an accident, and a serious heart issue that developed. I was seeing the doctors at Hopkins twice a week. Because it was a seller's market, you had to react quickly to take buyers around on a moment's notice. But because I was preoccpied with my health issues and commitments at the hospital, I wasn't able to participate in working with many buyers. So, I started painting for some of the realtors in the office. And went back into the painting business.
I started to seriously grow the painting business and eventually had my own shop. It was 1000sf, with an office, carpentry shop, screen tables, faux finishing area and classroom. I even had a store room for small supplies that resembled a wall at one of the local stores. I had upto 18 painters at this point, but usually carried 8-12. The economy crashed again, and I was only able to carry 3 guys, most of whom were my most loyal, but also my least productive employees. I eventually closed this shop down. It was a truly sad day when I personally had to take the sign down off the front of the shop. I dabbled, alone in the painting business, but found myself unable to maintain the quality of work I was known for, I was not able to keep up with my own production requirements.
I had the business for sale, but instead worked on an arrangement to consolidate my business with the largest residential painting company around. I also developed a working relationship with a fine organization about an hour away, in Crofton. The Crofton arrangement just didn't work out, and I'm not sure what happened there. I am somewhat suspisciuos that my tourettes was an issue with working with the other sales people there. So, I concentrated on my arrangement with the local painting firm. This arrangement lasted about 1 year and was particularly fun. The economy tanked again, and the leads were reduced to about 10% of what they had been.
I had decided to go back to school to do something that really intrigued me. I had no idea whether I was any good at it, or even if I had a passion for it, but I decidied to go to culinary school since things had quieted down in the economy for the painting business. Meanwhile, some of my old clients wanted me to do some work for them. So,can you guess??? I went back into the painting business. And then was burning the candle at both ends. Running a fulltime painting business during the day and going to school, full time three nights a week. It was exhausting. But fun.
But this time, I tried to build the painting biz with a different set of employees. This didn't work either. This set of employees just were not as reliable, and they were doing extra work for my customers on the side. A BIG no-no. Since my health was in question, I struggled with completing work with incompetent workers, which started to rewrite my reputation.
All the while, I was involved in the PDCA and was elected to serve on the Executive Committee by members of the industry. This was a big step and quite an honor to be recognized as a leader in the industry. But to be truthful, I felt ashamed that my business simply didn't have the success that the other members did. And I really didn't feel worthy to hold that position. My training in the Jaycees, however, had given me the insight and ability to fulfill my duties and develop a strategy to help others. It was a great experience, traveling around the country, meeting some really great people and families.
The combination of finishing my tenure on the PDCA board, running a painting business and going to school was back breaking. The quality of my clients started to slip as I was desperate for work. I began to accept work from the type of people I would avoided in the past. But this time, it came back to bite me. We took 3.5 months to complete a 3week project due to customer issues, weather, supplies, equipment and transportation failures, employee failures, and inability of another contractor to do his work properly. This customer was the absolutely nastiest person I have ever had to deal with under any circumstance. One of my employees wanted to physically harm this customer because of the way she talked to me. I had to physically restrain him from going after her. Two lessons here. 1)Screen your customers and 2)screen your employees!
This customer was the one that took ALL the fun out of my business. Due to a problem with some stained wood, I ended up refunding them the labor portion of the entire job. It left me broken in spirit. Combined with some nasty politics in the PDCA, particularly from a contractor in SC, I lost any passion for the painting business. During my last national convention, one of the contractors who I looked up to and truly admired told me he thought I should close down and just simply get out of the painting business if I wasn't going to be successful in it. This devastated me. And I truly lost heart at that moment. Looking back, I also realized that I never had the support of my wife, except on very RARE and inconsequential times. When I asked her to help me and get involved with the business to help me get a handle on it. She simply did not perform. The realization of her lack of support and encouragement was the clinching nail in the coffin to the business. I had lost hope. I had lost my dreams. I had lost belief in myslef. I had simply lost. It was a very lonely time.
I took the winter off to regroup and concentrate on my culinary studies. I was finding that I didn't have the passion about this like you needed to in order to make a career of it. It was simply another skill I was acquiring. And I had little passion for it. 1/3rd the way through my last semester, I had a skiing accident (broke my femur, and tore my ACL, requiring repair and surgery) that necessitated my quitting school and giving up any hope to continue in the painting business for 1 year.
The recuperation from surgery has been gruelling. I sat for months, working my knee, going to PT, sitting at the computer and getting too active on facebook. I have felt like I've not had a life. I was asked to be the treasurer of a campaign for a guy running for the house of delegates. And I am truly honored by that role. And I was asked to be the Treasurer of the Reagan Republican Club, one of the premier Republican clubs in the state. And for that I am also highly honored. But as for my career. I feel quite unsettled. I do not know what I will do.
I have recently started back up in school. And that, I feel, is a good distraction for the time being. But frankly, I feel like a loser. I had a wonderful time talking with my original girlfriend, someone who I truly admire, and still love. I have been married for 30 years, and she has been married for 25 years. She and her husband had gone through some similar trials as Wendy and I have gone through. But they were in a totally different business. Their business has grown and they have thrived, now reaping the rewards of 20 years of hard work. I am very proud of her and what she has done with her husband. But I can not help but compare what I have, or don't have after 20 years of being self-employed.
I have no savings. I have no value to my business. It is the nature of the industry. The business I had gotten to know competes with other contractors who work on the black market...who aren't legitimate in their operations. The state, now federal, regulations are being stacked against the small contractor, and it is becoming too difficult to re-enter that field. We live in a house owned by my mother-in-law. Granted, we've made incredible improvements to her house to get top dollar for the value when/if we sell it. And the only other asset we have is another house in Parkville, where renters reside.
And I recuperate. It is frustrating to watch others go to work, succeed and flourish, while I am stuck here without any income, other than Wendy's salary, and unable to perform. I long for a good paycheck. I long to succeed. I long to make a difference and provide value to other people. I wish I could get a job to get me back on my feet again. But I know that would be short lived. My tourrettes keep me from holding down a job, as I have become quite disruptive to other people. It is far more advantageous for me to be self-employed...which I love. But the opportunities look like they need to wait until the time is right. In the meantime, I must look into other opportunities...but I still don't know what to do...or in what direction to go.
At times, I don't feel like I have anyone to confide in about this stuff. That's why I'm writing about it here. Perhaps we can figure it out together.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
I remember...
where I was,
at that moment,
on that morning,
on that day;
the sunshine,
the smell in the air,
the radio station I was listening to,
what I was doing when I first heard,
the address,
the pictures on the TV,
the tears,
the fear,
the crying,
the sobbing,
the thinking of family,
of friends, long since seperated from;
the fire, the explosion, the planes;
the people running,
jumping,
coughing,
with hands and cloths over their faces, trying to breath;
the crowds, running,
looking over their shoulders
as the cloud of dust rolls through and over the maze of buildings,
approaching like a wild hungry beast;
the surreal feeling that overtook me as I watched a building collapse,
then another;
thinking, was this a movie? Was this real?
the realization that someone did this,
that someone hated us,
that someone wanted us destroyed;
turning to God, asking for answers,
seeking purpose;
gluing my eyes to the TV
looking for more;
looking next to me as that person was seeing the same thing, experiencing the same feelings, seeking the same answers;
having a common experience with my neighbors, and all I came into contact with;
thinking about my family
my old neighbors,
my old classmates and their families,
asking, were any of them victims in this?
going to church, and the crowds
trying to heal or be healed;
a sense of resolve,
a weird sense of pride in
being an American;
the firemen running, racing,
the police staring up, looking for those to help, trying to make sense;
those who innocently lost,
who fought,
who tried to save;
men in baggy yellow pants, with
wide suspenders,
digging with buckets, looking for people,
the rubble;
the dust;
the steel beams;
the sadness,
the grief,
the pain,
the struggle to heal, to make sense;
9/12.
It's not that I won't forget, it is that I remember...
at that moment,
on that morning,
on that day;
the sunshine,
the smell in the air,
the radio station I was listening to,
what I was doing when I first heard,
the address,
the pictures on the TV,
the tears,
the fear,
the crying,
the sobbing,
the thinking of family,
of friends, long since seperated from;
the fire, the explosion, the planes;
the people running,
jumping,
coughing,
with hands and cloths over their faces, trying to breath;
the crowds, running,
looking over their shoulders
as the cloud of dust rolls through and over the maze of buildings,
approaching like a wild hungry beast;
the surreal feeling that overtook me as I watched a building collapse,
then another;
thinking, was this a movie? Was this real?
the realization that someone did this,
that someone hated us,
that someone wanted us destroyed;
turning to God, asking for answers,
seeking purpose;
gluing my eyes to the TV
looking for more;
looking next to me as that person was seeing the same thing, experiencing the same feelings, seeking the same answers;
having a common experience with my neighbors, and all I came into contact with;
thinking about my family
my old neighbors,
my old classmates and their families,
asking, were any of them victims in this?
going to church, and the crowds
trying to heal or be healed;
a sense of resolve,
a weird sense of pride in
being an American;
the firemen running, racing,
the police staring up, looking for those to help, trying to make sense;
those who innocently lost,
who fought,
who tried to save;
men in baggy yellow pants, with
wide suspenders,
digging with buckets, looking for people,
the rubble;
the dust;
the steel beams;
the sadness,
the grief,
the pain,
the struggle to heal, to make sense;
9/12.
It's not that I won't forget, it is that I remember...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Pine Log President's article
Below is a copy of my article as president of our local community association. I received several cudos for a well written article from a few neighbors.
By now, you should have received a community directory, courtesy of the Board of Governors. This year, the BOG wanted all community members to receive a directory. Previously, only dues paying PVVWCA members received the annual publication. The Board would like to thank all of you who responded by re-joining the association. In addition, thanks to all of you who also came by the dumpster day and renewed your membership. As a reminder, the by-laws require that membership be renewed every October through September, and that dues can not be prorated if late.
In my dues reminder letter, I wrote that the PVVWCA is more than a children’s Fourth of July Parade, a Halloween Parade or Christmas Party and dumpsters for spring clean outs. We are a very active neighborhood association, with many community activists and community and business leaders who live here. We have testified at community hearings, attended other community meetings and have aggressively pursued relationships with our elected officials to ensure a higher quality of life for our neighborhood. But there is more to be done.
In attending GTCC (Greater Timonium Community Council…made up of 50+ other neighborhood associations like ours), we have found that there is a disjointing of the Timonium community that occurred at the last legislative redistricting. Essentially, our beloved Timonium is split between two legislative districts, which occurred due to political malfeasance. In trying to research some issues, I had to talk to our representatives in the House of Delegates in district 11. One of them wasn’t even initially aware that they represented our neighborhood! The rest of Timonium is in Legislative District 42. I bring this up because during the next gubernatorial “reign”, redistricting of legislative district is due to occur. Although, as officers of the PVVWCA, we are prohibited by our by-laws from endorsing candidates or parties, the person in the Governor’s Mansion will determine these districts. It is important to realize this during the process of your voting decision. We have begun to voice our concern that we want to be unified with the rest of the Timonium communities, as we have very few property, zoning and representative issues in common with Owings Mills, Greenspring Valley and Pikesville.
In addition, we have become largely dissatisfied with responses and results of our conversations with any of the current members of the County Council. I personally believe that a complete overhaul and a better balance (between parties) of the County Council is in order, given our experience during the CZMP process that occurred in 2008. Concerns over the rezoning of the Fairgrounds essentially went on deaf ears. This can be a huge issue in the future of property values and quality of life for our community, and I feel it is my duty to provide you with this information and insight. Please also be aware that councilmatic redistricting may also take place, based on the balance of the parties on a new County Council. Please let your friends around the county know this, as it could affect additional zoning issues in the future. Zoning issues essentially affect YOUR property values and quality of life. For the record, we are in Council District 3.
Schools will soon be out and vacations will be on many people’s minds. With burglaries up in the Lutherville area (fortunately not our community), please be vigilant and proactive in preventing and discouraging crime. The Police tell us that unlocked windows and doors are the main entry points for break-ins and house robberies. So keep them locked. Use light timers in the house and have one of your trusted neighbors check in on your home if you will be away for any length of time. Let your neighbor know you will be away so they can keep an extra eye on your property. Please be mindful of unusual activity in the neighborhood, and verify anyone that tells you they are doing home improvement work at your neighbor’s home. That’s just another reason why we all need to stay away from unlicensed contractors and only deal with legitimate, MHIC licensed ones. MHIC licensed
contractors are required to have their vehicles lettered with their license number on them. Question or report them if the vehicles are missing the MHIC numbers.
Living at the entrance to our community, I get to witness a few things that cause me to reflect on the safety of our neighbors. First, I’ve seen and heard several ambulances and fire engines as they travel down Pine Valley Dr and I say a small prayer for the well being of a neighbor. I think of the neighbors who have spent decades here, caring for their families and their homes. I think of those who have retired, those who have moved on and those who have moved in. The ambulances remind me that there are things of far greater value than property values, zoning codes, neighbor disputes, dumpster days and adherence to community covenants. Accidents have happened, spouses, family members and friends have had medical emergencies, and sadly, some have lost their loved ones. The ambulances remind me of the great services we have as residents of this wonderful community; of its close proximity to hospitals, doctors, pharmacies, well constructed roads and highways. Life long friendships, that can potentially span generations, also come to mind. We live in a special neighborhood, with nice people and (hopefully) good neighbors.
I’ve been given advice on developing friends from a mentor who has since passed on. Please allow me tweak it a bit as it relates to being neighborly. “If you want good neighbors, be one yourself, first.”
Be sure to say Hi to your neighbors!
Ken Anderson
President, PVVWCA 2009-2011
By now, you should have received a community directory, courtesy of the Board of Governors. This year, the BOG wanted all community members to receive a directory. Previously, only dues paying PVVWCA members received the annual publication. The Board would like to thank all of you who responded by re-joining the association. In addition, thanks to all of you who also came by the dumpster day and renewed your membership. As a reminder, the by-laws require that membership be renewed every October through September, and that dues can not be prorated if late.
In my dues reminder letter, I wrote that the PVVWCA is more than a children’s Fourth of July Parade, a Halloween Parade or Christmas Party and dumpsters for spring clean outs. We are a very active neighborhood association, with many community activists and community and business leaders who live here. We have testified at community hearings, attended other community meetings and have aggressively pursued relationships with our elected officials to ensure a higher quality of life for our neighborhood. But there is more to be done.
In attending GTCC (Greater Timonium Community Council…made up of 50+ other neighborhood associations like ours), we have found that there is a disjointing of the Timonium community that occurred at the last legislative redistricting. Essentially, our beloved Timonium is split between two legislative districts, which occurred due to political malfeasance. In trying to research some issues, I had to talk to our representatives in the House of Delegates in district 11. One of them wasn’t even initially aware that they represented our neighborhood! The rest of Timonium is in Legislative District 42. I bring this up because during the next gubernatorial “reign”, redistricting of legislative district is due to occur. Although, as officers of the PVVWCA, we are prohibited by our by-laws from endorsing candidates or parties, the person in the Governor’s Mansion will determine these districts. It is important to realize this during the process of your voting decision. We have begun to voice our concern that we want to be unified with the rest of the Timonium communities, as we have very few property, zoning and representative issues in common with Owings Mills, Greenspring Valley and Pikesville.
In addition, we have become largely dissatisfied with responses and results of our conversations with any of the current members of the County Council. I personally believe that a complete overhaul and a better balance (between parties) of the County Council is in order, given our experience during the CZMP process that occurred in 2008. Concerns over the rezoning of the Fairgrounds essentially went on deaf ears. This can be a huge issue in the future of property values and quality of life for our community, and I feel it is my duty to provide you with this information and insight. Please also be aware that councilmatic redistricting may also take place, based on the balance of the parties on a new County Council. Please let your friends around the county know this, as it could affect additional zoning issues in the future. Zoning issues essentially affect YOUR property values and quality of life. For the record, we are in Council District 3.
Schools will soon be out and vacations will be on many people’s minds. With burglaries up in the Lutherville area (fortunately not our community), please be vigilant and proactive in preventing and discouraging crime. The Police tell us that unlocked windows and doors are the main entry points for break-ins and house robberies. So keep them locked. Use light timers in the house and have one of your trusted neighbors check in on your home if you will be away for any length of time. Let your neighbor know you will be away so they can keep an extra eye on your property. Please be mindful of unusual activity in the neighborhood, and verify anyone that tells you they are doing home improvement work at your neighbor’s home. That’s just another reason why we all need to stay away from unlicensed contractors and only deal with legitimate, MHIC licensed ones. MHIC licensed
contractors are required to have their vehicles lettered with their license number on them. Question or report them if the vehicles are missing the MHIC numbers.
Living at the entrance to our community, I get to witness a few things that cause me to reflect on the safety of our neighbors. First, I’ve seen and heard several ambulances and fire engines as they travel down Pine Valley Dr and I say a small prayer for the well being of a neighbor. I think of the neighbors who have spent decades here, caring for their families and their homes. I think of those who have retired, those who have moved on and those who have moved in. The ambulances remind me that there are things of far greater value than property values, zoning codes, neighbor disputes, dumpster days and adherence to community covenants. Accidents have happened, spouses, family members and friends have had medical emergencies, and sadly, some have lost their loved ones. The ambulances remind me of the great services we have as residents of this wonderful community; of its close proximity to hospitals, doctors, pharmacies, well constructed roads and highways. Life long friendships, that can potentially span generations, also come to mind. We live in a special neighborhood, with nice people and (hopefully) good neighbors.
I’ve been given advice on developing friends from a mentor who has since passed on. Please allow me tweak it a bit as it relates to being neighborly. “If you want good neighbors, be one yourself, first.”
Be sure to say Hi to your neighbors!
Ken Anderson
President, PVVWCA 2009-2011
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Thoughts about my Jaycee career
The following is a repost from my Facebook Notes:
Recent news articles and personal and professional experiences have gotten me thinking about the impact the Jaycees have had on my life. It used to be publically honorable and desirable to be in the organization (not that it isn't honorable now, just not as well known). In fact, it was well known that bank execs were often telling their junior execs that if they really want to know how to get a head in the bank and the community, then join the Jaycees. From the Gas & Electric Co to the Telephone Company and the state legislature, the Jaycees were THE PREMIER leadership training organization. I would argue that they still are, if they are taken seriously and the membership grows both numerically and professionally (image wise).
Please allow me to reminisce.
As a Jaycee Chapter President, I took a chapter that had maybe 7-10 people out of 45 coming to meetings and resulted in a 60 member chapter, with 100% retention for the year and 25-30 people coming to meetings and getting involved. My RD, at the time, Ken Rich, was instrumental in encouraging me to continue in my JC career and he made a huge impact on my life as an encourager, as was my District director, Ken Moretz from Havre de Grace.
Later, I took a Region that had been losing ground for 12 years and got it turned around with growth for the first time, being acknowledged as Region Director of the year. I helped start several new chapters and recruited well over150 Jaycees in my career as acknowledged by my plaques and awards (somebody else counted them, not me...). I was up for a national award as one of the top ten Regional Directors in the US. Part of the unwritten rule was those who show up to the national convention get the award, those who don't, won't. At the risk or threat of losing my job for going to the convention, I felt that the award represented the entire region's volunteer work, commitment and efforts for the year, and not just mine. So I went to the convention to represent the work of rejuvenated Jaycees of Baltimore City, Baltimore County, Harford and Cecil County. It turns out that we didn't receive the award and it was a struggle for the US JC Pres to make that decision. But my decision to go cost me my job, if not my career in the insurance business. Do I regret it? No, not on your life. It was one of those difficult, gut wrenching decisions that had to be made. After all, I was representing a large community. This was in the day when almost everything we did as Jaycees was in the local newspapers. It was as if we were assigned our own reporters (I truly think a few reporters were actually members). Many, many thanks to the outstanding District Directors at that time: Dave Bopst, Len Chapel, Steve Einig.
Actually, a different Jaycee decision is the one that cost me my job. My boss was a Maryland State Senator at the time. We had some serious employee issues and a mandatory meeting to go to. Meanwhile I had received an invitation to go to the White House as a guest of Ronald Reagan. I decided to go to Washington DC and forego the company required meeting. At that time, it was unheard of for a 33 yr old to be invited to the WH. It was an experience of a lifetime, and a decision, although fatal for my career, was one I do not regret. I want to thank Jim Warren and Ed Stanley for getting me on that list.
I learned a valuable lesson back then. Region 4 had been worked on for years under the excellent leadership of Ken Rich and Jim France immediately preceeding my year as RD. They worked tirelessly at unifying and encouraging chapters and people in the region. At the first quarter board meeting in my year, all the other regions were kicking our behinds in just about every facet. But Bill, from Reisterstown, started cheering all the other region winners. Soon we began our cheering and eventually became the loudest cheering section for every award with "Hooray for them, Hooray for them..." The next quarter we won our first growth award and we continued to cheer for other region winners. When somebody from our region won an award, we went nutz! By the end of the year, we had significant growth and won "the Cup" for our enthusiasm. I have it to this day. We learned the power of developing unity, strength and energy can start by simply taking your eyes off yourself and cheering for the other person. Thanks for the valuable lesson, Bill.
I grew tremendously during my tenure as a Jaycee. I remember going to a Towson JC meeting and having to stand up and tell people my name. I was scared to death to do this...speak in front of other people! I was 23-24-25 at the time. I borrowed an old seer sucker suit from my father to go to the meetings. It was in the day where everybody at least wore a coat and tie (which I didn't own at the time). I volunteered for projects at the prompting of my friend, John Smyth. And took the direction he gave me as best I could. I was awarded the SPARKPLUG of the year for the Towson JCs, and I didn't even know what it was or how I got it! (Basically, rookie of the year within the chapter...about 200 members at that time). I started and ran an Individual Development project, the Baltimore County Prayer Breakfast, which continued for close to 25 years. And it received a national award. I saw a need in my community, and recognized that the Jaycees had a lot of energy and a systematic approach to running projects, so I approached them about the Prayer Breakfast, and it became a success. The first year, we had 450 people in attendance and drew out former US Senator Danny Brewster as our featured speaker. He told a story about rising to power in the US, then falling from grace, embarrassingly getting drunk and unruly in the White House, and how to live with his past, and seek forgiveness with God.
I had very little confidence in myself those years. It took growing up in the Jaycees for me to gain confidence (some might say cockiness) in myself and my abilities. One of the top recognition awards I received was being one of the Ten Outstanding Young Marylanders of 1988, awarded by the Governor. This organization was a lot of work, but I enjoyed it. I was asked to be the Executive VP under Lou Wanex. I really cherished this role. But I always preached having balance in your life. My youngest son, Danny, was born with Downs Syndrome, a major heart defect and had been in intensive care for 3+ months! I HAD to attend to my family needs and resigned my post as EVP. There were several JCs who either didn't understand or were too gung ho about the organization, that I received bitter criticism for my resignation. And for some odd reason, I was tagged with the label of being a quitter in certain circles. Nobody seemed to remember the accomplishments or the lives we affected during those years. I regret their remembrance of me in this light.
As I immersed myself into my family and career, I began to have one bad career experience after another. It wasn't until I had been painting for a while that I ran into another old JC who was promoting involvement in the PDCA, the Painting and Decorating Contractors of America. I saw him at a booth at a Pro-Show at a Duron Paint store. While everyone was dressed in whites, he was the only one dressed in a coat and tie. Needless to say, he stood out. Mike Miller encouraged me, much like John Smyth, to get involved in the PDCA. But since I had been working out of my family vehicle and was unlicensed, I didn't have the confidence or money to join. I went to a meeting and was introduced to several other contractors. Most of them were commercial contractors. In fact only two other people were residential painting contractors. I found out I was grossly under pricing my services and didn't understand how to develop my price. It took a while, but I researched my expenses and reconfigured my prices to what I really needed as a business. It took me 9 months to finally join, since I didn't have enough money to afford the dues at the time. I learned about business from my friends in the PDCA, while finding the Jaycee influence all around me in the organization. Both Mike Miller (former Md Jaycee EVP) and Bruce Hall (former Md Jaycee State Pres) were in leadership positions and influencing PDCA in ways I understood.
I eventually returned to the Jaycees after finding out that my good friend and school pal, Jim France, was going to be the next Md JC President. I offered him my help and he took me up on it! I had been gone from the organization for several years and there were only a few people left from "my glory days" in the organization. And they were happy to see me back. Jim was the Region Director immediately prior to my RD success, and I must acknowledge that it was he and Ken Rich who set me up for success that year. I felt I owed Jim a lot. He told me he needed someone to become the State Community Development VP. I agreed after some apprehensions that nobody knew me or who I was. Working with Jim was a real pleasure. It was great seeing the old Jaycees and getting back in the swing of things. One thing bothered me, however. And that was the fact that recruiting new members became an embarrassment and nobody seemed to know how to do it. There actually were apologies from one particular former state president for concentrating on membership drives. So membership became almost a dirty phrase and nobody seemed to notice. It seemed like the old Jaycees way had died. And I can almost pin-point it on a few individuals and their ill-forsaken influence.
One of the things I noticed while and when I was outside the world of Jaycees was that the world just didn't notice them as much, nor did they give them as much credence as a leadership training organization. There was a time when I walked into the state house in Annapolis with my daughter's grade school class trip, that the Governor, the Attorney General and several delegates and senators were former Jaycees. In fact it was almost embarrassing as I was walking with my daughter's class to have several of them say hi to me by name. Now, you have to explain to the same group of legislators who the Jaycees are. The current status of the Jaycees as a recognizable force in leadership development is appalling to me. My training tought me to believe, "If it's gonna be, it's up to me." And this particular time, I took it upon myself to promote the Jaycees where ever I went. I thought it curious that not many former Jaycees (those who "rooster out" at the age of 40) ever touted the value of their Jaycee involvement and training. But I was not going to be one of those people. I am proud of the influence the JCs have had on me and my growth and maturity. I have promoted the Jaycees at BNI presentations, Chamber Presentations, PDCA training and speeches I have given through out this country.
Within the PDCA, I went on the eventually become the Sr VP of the PDCA nationally, one of the 5 officers on the Executive Committee, using my Jaycee experience to its fullest. I continued to promote concepts they had in developing leaders, and organizing chapters and promoting involvement. Perhaps these techniques are outdated, but I have continued to promote these Jaycee precepts as workable concepts. I used my Jaycee experience in helping to develop, understand and communicate new by-laws for the PDCA. I used real back-room negotiating techniques and concepts I learned in the Jaycees on getting the by-laws to pass. And I used the speaking techniques learned in the Jaycees to give speeches through out the country, at various council conventions. I also have been able to see, with clear vision, the path that an organization must take to be effective and growing. I have continued to use and actively promote the Jaycees where ever I go.
I have already been down the street from death (not necessarily at its door step) with being on the transplant list for a new heart. And I have, by the grace of God, recovered and gotten off that list through new medical break throughs. I have reflected on my life and seen that although I was a Jaycee from the age of 24-40, I continue to be a Jaycee in spirit, realizing that we must all move on from that organization to have an impact on the rest of the world. To be awarded a JCI Senatorship would be the ultimate honor to hold from the organization I so dearly love and endear myself to. But there is no more Bel Air Jaycee chapter or Region 4 in existence. And while I understand that by admitting the desire of this honor, may, by itself appear to be less than honorable, the deep desire to be one remains. There have been far more people who have far lesser JC accomplishments and continued promotional impact who are JCI Senators; I feel cheap by admitting this. So please forgive me. I remain imperfect, ready for new developments and personal growth.
I am excited that this year, 2009, they are seeing growth in the organization. And I would hope that all other organizations out there would recognize the impact trained Jaycees have. From proper project management skills, to public speaking skills, to community contacts, the Jaycees should be a more recognized organization than they are. I only wish the alumni of the organization would speak up and promote them. I believe they are a factor in the rebuilding of this country and the economy.
I truly wish that I could demand that my kids join the Jaycees for experience, fun and personal growth. My father said that he "grew up" and matured in the Army. I say that I "grew up" and matured in the Jaycees.
Recent news articles and personal and professional experiences have gotten me thinking about the impact the Jaycees have had on my life. It used to be publically honorable and desirable to be in the organization (not that it isn't honorable now, just not as well known). In fact, it was well known that bank execs were often telling their junior execs that if they really want to know how to get a head in the bank and the community, then join the Jaycees. From the Gas & Electric Co to the Telephone Company and the state legislature, the Jaycees were THE PREMIER leadership training organization. I would argue that they still are, if they are taken seriously and the membership grows both numerically and professionally (image wise).
Please allow me to reminisce.
As a Jaycee Chapter President, I took a chapter that had maybe 7-10 people out of 45 coming to meetings and resulted in a 60 member chapter, with 100% retention for the year and 25-30 people coming to meetings and getting involved. My RD, at the time, Ken Rich, was instrumental in encouraging me to continue in my JC career and he made a huge impact on my life as an encourager, as was my District director, Ken Moretz from Havre de Grace.
Later, I took a Region that had been losing ground for 12 years and got it turned around with growth for the first time, being acknowledged as Region Director of the year. I helped start several new chapters and recruited well over150 Jaycees in my career as acknowledged by my plaques and awards (somebody else counted them, not me...). I was up for a national award as one of the top ten Regional Directors in the US. Part of the unwritten rule was those who show up to the national convention get the award, those who don't, won't. At the risk or threat of losing my job for going to the convention, I felt that the award represented the entire region's volunteer work, commitment and efforts for the year, and not just mine. So I went to the convention to represent the work of rejuvenated Jaycees of Baltimore City, Baltimore County, Harford and Cecil County. It turns out that we didn't receive the award and it was a struggle for the US JC Pres to make that decision. But my decision to go cost me my job, if not my career in the insurance business. Do I regret it? No, not on your life. It was one of those difficult, gut wrenching decisions that had to be made. After all, I was representing a large community. This was in the day when almost everything we did as Jaycees was in the local newspapers. It was as if we were assigned our own reporters (I truly think a few reporters were actually members). Many, many thanks to the outstanding District Directors at that time: Dave Bopst, Len Chapel, Steve Einig.
Actually, a different Jaycee decision is the one that cost me my job. My boss was a Maryland State Senator at the time. We had some serious employee issues and a mandatory meeting to go to. Meanwhile I had received an invitation to go to the White House as a guest of Ronald Reagan. I decided to go to Washington DC and forego the company required meeting. At that time, it was unheard of for a 33 yr old to be invited to the WH. It was an experience of a lifetime, and a decision, although fatal for my career, was one I do not regret. I want to thank Jim Warren and Ed Stanley for getting me on that list.
I learned a valuable lesson back then. Region 4 had been worked on for years under the excellent leadership of Ken Rich and Jim France immediately preceeding my year as RD. They worked tirelessly at unifying and encouraging chapters and people in the region. At the first quarter board meeting in my year, all the other regions were kicking our behinds in just about every facet. But Bill, from Reisterstown, started cheering all the other region winners. Soon we began our cheering and eventually became the loudest cheering section for every award with "Hooray for them, Hooray for them..." The next quarter we won our first growth award and we continued to cheer for other region winners. When somebody from our region won an award, we went nutz! By the end of the year, we had significant growth and won "the Cup" for our enthusiasm. I have it to this day. We learned the power of developing unity, strength and energy can start by simply taking your eyes off yourself and cheering for the other person. Thanks for the valuable lesson, Bill.
I grew tremendously during my tenure as a Jaycee. I remember going to a Towson JC meeting and having to stand up and tell people my name. I was scared to death to do this...speak in front of other people! I was 23-24-25 at the time. I borrowed an old seer sucker suit from my father to go to the meetings. It was in the day where everybody at least wore a coat and tie (which I didn't own at the time). I volunteered for projects at the prompting of my friend, John Smyth. And took the direction he gave me as best I could. I was awarded the SPARKPLUG of the year for the Towson JCs, and I didn't even know what it was or how I got it! (Basically, rookie of the year within the chapter...about 200 members at that time). I started and ran an Individual Development project, the Baltimore County Prayer Breakfast, which continued for close to 25 years. And it received a national award. I saw a need in my community, and recognized that the Jaycees had a lot of energy and a systematic approach to running projects, so I approached them about the Prayer Breakfast, and it became a success. The first year, we had 450 people in attendance and drew out former US Senator Danny Brewster as our featured speaker. He told a story about rising to power in the US, then falling from grace, embarrassingly getting drunk and unruly in the White House, and how to live with his past, and seek forgiveness with God.
I had very little confidence in myself those years. It took growing up in the Jaycees for me to gain confidence (some might say cockiness) in myself and my abilities. One of the top recognition awards I received was being one of the Ten Outstanding Young Marylanders of 1988, awarded by the Governor. This organization was a lot of work, but I enjoyed it. I was asked to be the Executive VP under Lou Wanex. I really cherished this role. But I always preached having balance in your life. My youngest son, Danny, was born with Downs Syndrome, a major heart defect and had been in intensive care for 3+ months! I HAD to attend to my family needs and resigned my post as EVP. There were several JCs who either didn't understand or were too gung ho about the organization, that I received bitter criticism for my resignation. And for some odd reason, I was tagged with the label of being a quitter in certain circles. Nobody seemed to remember the accomplishments or the lives we affected during those years. I regret their remembrance of me in this light.
As I immersed myself into my family and career, I began to have one bad career experience after another. It wasn't until I had been painting for a while that I ran into another old JC who was promoting involvement in the PDCA, the Painting and Decorating Contractors of America. I saw him at a booth at a Pro-Show at a Duron Paint store. While everyone was dressed in whites, he was the only one dressed in a coat and tie. Needless to say, he stood out. Mike Miller encouraged me, much like John Smyth, to get involved in the PDCA. But since I had been working out of my family vehicle and was unlicensed, I didn't have the confidence or money to join. I went to a meeting and was introduced to several other contractors. Most of them were commercial contractors. In fact only two other people were residential painting contractors. I found out I was grossly under pricing my services and didn't understand how to develop my price. It took a while, but I researched my expenses and reconfigured my prices to what I really needed as a business. It took me 9 months to finally join, since I didn't have enough money to afford the dues at the time. I learned about business from my friends in the PDCA, while finding the Jaycee influence all around me in the organization. Both Mike Miller (former Md Jaycee EVP) and Bruce Hall (former Md Jaycee State Pres) were in leadership positions and influencing PDCA in ways I understood.
I eventually returned to the Jaycees after finding out that my good friend and school pal, Jim France, was going to be the next Md JC President. I offered him my help and he took me up on it! I had been gone from the organization for several years and there were only a few people left from "my glory days" in the organization. And they were happy to see me back. Jim was the Region Director immediately prior to my RD success, and I must acknowledge that it was he and Ken Rich who set me up for success that year. I felt I owed Jim a lot. He told me he needed someone to become the State Community Development VP. I agreed after some apprehensions that nobody knew me or who I was. Working with Jim was a real pleasure. It was great seeing the old Jaycees and getting back in the swing of things. One thing bothered me, however. And that was the fact that recruiting new members became an embarrassment and nobody seemed to know how to do it. There actually were apologies from one particular former state president for concentrating on membership drives. So membership became almost a dirty phrase and nobody seemed to notice. It seemed like the old Jaycees way had died. And I can almost pin-point it on a few individuals and their ill-forsaken influence.
One of the things I noticed while and when I was outside the world of Jaycees was that the world just didn't notice them as much, nor did they give them as much credence as a leadership training organization. There was a time when I walked into the state house in Annapolis with my daughter's grade school class trip, that the Governor, the Attorney General and several delegates and senators were former Jaycees. In fact it was almost embarrassing as I was walking with my daughter's class to have several of them say hi to me by name. Now, you have to explain to the same group of legislators who the Jaycees are. The current status of the Jaycees as a recognizable force in leadership development is appalling to me. My training tought me to believe, "If it's gonna be, it's up to me." And this particular time, I took it upon myself to promote the Jaycees where ever I went. I thought it curious that not many former Jaycees (those who "rooster out" at the age of 40) ever touted the value of their Jaycee involvement and training. But I was not going to be one of those people. I am proud of the influence the JCs have had on me and my growth and maturity. I have promoted the Jaycees at BNI presentations, Chamber Presentations, PDCA training and speeches I have given through out this country.
Within the PDCA, I went on the eventually become the Sr VP of the PDCA nationally, one of the 5 officers on the Executive Committee, using my Jaycee experience to its fullest. I continued to promote concepts they had in developing leaders, and organizing chapters and promoting involvement. Perhaps these techniques are outdated, but I have continued to promote these Jaycee precepts as workable concepts. I used my Jaycee experience in helping to develop, understand and communicate new by-laws for the PDCA. I used real back-room negotiating techniques and concepts I learned in the Jaycees on getting the by-laws to pass. And I used the speaking techniques learned in the Jaycees to give speeches through out the country, at various council conventions. I also have been able to see, with clear vision, the path that an organization must take to be effective and growing. I have continued to use and actively promote the Jaycees where ever I go.
I have already been down the street from death (not necessarily at its door step) with being on the transplant list for a new heart. And I have, by the grace of God, recovered and gotten off that list through new medical break throughs. I have reflected on my life and seen that although I was a Jaycee from the age of 24-40, I continue to be a Jaycee in spirit, realizing that we must all move on from that organization to have an impact on the rest of the world. To be awarded a JCI Senatorship would be the ultimate honor to hold from the organization I so dearly love and endear myself to. But there is no more Bel Air Jaycee chapter or Region 4 in existence. And while I understand that by admitting the desire of this honor, may, by itself appear to be less than honorable, the deep desire to be one remains. There have been far more people who have far lesser JC accomplishments and continued promotional impact who are JCI Senators; I feel cheap by admitting this. So please forgive me. I remain imperfect, ready for new developments and personal growth.
I am excited that this year, 2009, they are seeing growth in the organization. And I would hope that all other organizations out there would recognize the impact trained Jaycees have. From proper project management skills, to public speaking skills, to community contacts, the Jaycees should be a more recognized organization than they are. I only wish the alumni of the organization would speak up and promote them. I believe they are a factor in the rebuilding of this country and the economy.
I truly wish that I could demand that my kids join the Jaycees for experience, fun and personal growth. My father said that he "grew up" and matured in the Army. I say that I "grew up" and matured in the Jaycees.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Being part of something big gives 'Extreme' volunteers plenty of energy despite little sleep
Here's what I've been working on for the last week. Just recruiting painting contractors to start Thursday night at 10pm through the morning.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Pearl of Africa: July 11th - Kampala Bombing
The Pearl of Africa: July 11th - Kampala Bombing
I pray for the people in Uganda and all those who are there to win hearts to Christ as missionaries.
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