It's a new year, and as I was looking over this blog, I can't believe I didn't enter anything in during the whole month of December. Alot has happened and I need to get on with things.
Last night was not a good sleeping night. Both Wendy and I were on the threshhold of a cold or something and we decided to "try" to get to bed early. But these darned colds and illnesses have their way of affecting us at just the wrong times. Emily came home early (surprising us on Christmas Eve!) and was out last night. She called at 3:20am to tell us she decidied to stay in Westminster for the night, rather than come home, then off to Thurmont the next day (today). I was relieve she made the wise decision to stay up there. I think part of my tossing and turning was partly due to worrying about her safety on NY eve. (A father's summer solstice is spent worrying about his family) Fortunately, I was up and struggling to shut my eyes, so answering the phone was only an invitation to play solitaire until 6:45am. I don't usually have insomnia, but coupled with a cold, it's not too pleasant. I'm just thankful I don't have anything I HAVE to tend to this weekend.
Just the same, numerous thoughts raced through my mind as I lay in the dark, trying to rest.
#1 - I gotta get a job. For some reason, this thought kept me tossing and turning, and for the life of me, I don't know why this hadn't happened sooner. I know the goal I was working on was to finish my Associates Degree in Cooking and Baking at Baltimore International College (BIC). I knew that I couldn't and didn't want to work in a restaurant kitchen, particularly as short order cook. The last class I took (A la carte) ruined my appetitie for this work. Perhaps it was the horrible "instructors" we had for this class. But I grew a disdain for working in those types of environments. I experienced what "the weeds" are. And with my first three days on the hot line being a catastrophe, I say "No thank you." But I also think if I had been properly prepared and instructed. I spent most of my time doing administrative things during my assigned 2.5 weeks in the kitchen. I actually only spent three days there and missed whatever instruction the chef gave to the class, mainly due to the projects he had me on. Frankly, I felt this was unfair, but I appreciated excelling in the administrative area of running a restaurant, more than the hot line. The good side is that this administrative project he had me on may result in a business opportunity for me to provide HACCP plans for reataurants and food establishments. The pay is so much better than working at the stove or prep station. And at this point in my life, I don't know if I could survive doing grunt work anyway. I've been there, done that. It's not that I want to jump to the "top" so soon (like my father always accuses me of), it's that my mind doesn't work in coordination with my body to do those things efficiently or effectively. It was that kind of way in my painting business. I had gotten out of or lost the ability or drive to do good, clean work. Instead, I thought about planning and implementation of work systems and projects and marketing and managing other people to do the good, clean work.. If this is true for other people in my situation (redesigning themselves during their 50's), then falling back on a trade or working with my hands is becoming less of an option. I used to live by an addage that "if it's gonna be, then it's up to me." But that assumes that, at least, I can put my nose to the gringstone and work a physical job. I'm going to have to rediscover my God given abilities (for which I tend to sell myself so short for).
My option for work are thus:
1 - go back into the painting business
2 - get a job through my contacts and training at BIC in the culinary field, in a kitchen (even if its a dishwashing job)
3 - develop more of the consulting aspect in the food business, doing HACCP plans, working with another student and one of the chef instructors
4 - go back into the real estate business (which is what I enjoyed more than anything else) as a Realtor
5 - go back into the insurance business (AFLAC is calling)
6 - wait everything out and see where my current volunteer positions take me (President of the community association; Treasurer for Tom Morgan's campaign; Treasurer for the Baltimore County Republican Central Committee; Treasurer for the Reagan Republican Club; current nominee, and assumed heir as President of the Reagn Republican Club); or use these contacts as a springboard for a new career.
When I put it all down on "paper", my options seem like a real mess with no set direction or common element. I'll have to pursue the thought on these options more thoroughly.
When it come right down to it, my father-in-law was right when he spoke to me on his death bed. DECIDE what you want to do then STICK with it. (He added...just take care of Babs and Wendy for me...). That was why I stuck with the painting business so long. His words and my agreement kept coming back to me. If it weren't for that damned Siegner strongly suggesting that I get out of the painting business... (there's another guy who I fully respect).
More thoughts later...
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